Worshipping in the everyday workplace

When we think of work, we often think of the dread of waking up on Monday morning, the commute to the office or worksite, or maybe the familiar desk at home where we make our day’s wages. Work is often seen as the evil necessity of life in which we do what we can to make ends meet. And if we’re lucky and blessed, we may have enough to share with those around us. But is this the way it should be?

Work is usually placed within the secular realm of our spiritualized life. This is the part of our life that we separate from the other part that’s clouded with talk about worship, discipleship and faith. But when you think about it, work takes up about a third to a half of the time allotted to us in a week. It’s a vast amount of time that we are spending in the work place. How then can we truly be a disciple of Christ in our everyday life without bringing the act of discipleship and worship into the work place?

In reading Micah 6:6-8, I have come to reflect upon the meaning of worship. Worship is an act of living the everyday life that comes from within. It’s not about what we bring to the table of offering but about where our heart is. And to sum it up nicely, the demand on our heart is that of doing justice, loving kindness and walking humbly with our God.

And in reflecting about that in the work place, I have come to ask myself three questions.

• Am I acting justly and being a champion of justice as I work throughout the day?


• Am I loving kindness and mercy as Christ has shown me in the interactions I have with others?


• Am I walking humbly in a God-fearing way through the choices I make?

If we allow the act of doing justice, loving kindness and walking humbly with God to be the foundational outpouring of our heart into the thoughts, actions, decisions and motives of everything we do at work, then we are learning to bring worship into the workplace. Work now becomes not a place to earn a living but a place in which your act of worship will be seen and felt by those around you. In essence it is also a place where  discipleship happens.

So the question that I leave with you today is this. Will you allow your work to be an arena and an act of worship in your everyday life?

Passing the Torch

Passing the torch? Have any of you ever ran a relay race? I remember when I was in high school, I was on the track team and relay was one of the events I trained for. I never had the endurance of a long distance running nor did I have the explosive sprint of a short distance runner, but the relay was something I could do. I ran my leg and passed the baton to the next. I just had to make sure I didn't drop it or trip over. Essentially my goal for the whole race was to maintain my position in the race and possibly overtake a competitor but it wasn't as stressful cause I knew for a fact that one of my teammates is gonna carry the team for the last leg cause he has that explosive ability.

Relay was easy. Life wasn't so much. Sometimes you can train for life but more often than not life trains you. Often times I find myself running a race not knowing where I'm running to. And sometimes I slow to a trot or even a crawl. But more often than not, I'm sprinting ahead cause of fear. What are we running for? What are we even going to pass on to the next generation?

Mankind, He has told you what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you: to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8 HCSB http://bible.com/72/mic.6.8.HCSB

Thinking about it, I think the fog comes from the unknown. When you don't know what you are running for and why you are running, you don't have a reason or the motivation to run. For me, in the past decade, it has come down to this: acting justly, loving faithfulness and walking humbly.

Act justly: What is justice? What does it mean to do right even in the face of injustice? What is it to walk even when it hurts?

Love faithfulness: What does it mean to be faithful? What does it mean to have integrity? What is it to you and me to keep our words?

Walk humbly: How can we go about continually learning? How can we go about knowing that there is something greater than us? How do we go about knowing the world does not rest upon our shoulders?

And it is these traits, these guidestones that I want to pass on to my kids. I want them growing up knowing what it means to be just, what it means to be faithful and how to be humble. I know I am a work in progress. But at least I have the baton and the purpose of running. And it is this baton that I hope to pass on to them one day.

What about you? What are you hoping to pass on to your kids or to the next generation? What are you running for?

Why Faith?

I get this question a lot of times, and I would say, I have asked this question myself. And I actually challenge people to ask this of themselves. Why Faith? Why believe in anything? Or better yet, the question is why do you believe in what you believe?

I would say for me it has been a journey of life up to this point and it has consistently pointed me toward something greater. I'm not sure about you, nor would I want to make an assumption on your behalf, but I do know that we are all working through life looking for purpose and for meaning.

For me this has consistently been found in what I would term as faith. Faith is not the same as religion. Faith is not the idea of ethical or moral standards. Rather, faith has been for me a coming to terms that I can't do it alone and I need someone or something greater, someone or something beyond this life. For me, it was at the pit of life, it was at the darkest point when things seemingly aren't working. It was at a point where I questioned everything that I had been working for. It was in a state where I found myself spiralling downward into a darkness of the mind and soul.

It was in this darkness and pit that I found faith.

It was here that I found that I am only human. And as great as our human-race has been in advancing civilization and technology, it has seemingly never answered the deepest question of the soul, that of why we exist, or more specifically why I exist. It was in this pit that I found faith, an answer to this deep question. Does it answer all other questions? Not directly but it does speak toward them and forms a premise, a foundation, a framework to understand, explore and work with.

Faith for me is a relationship. A relationship with a creator, a God, a father. It is with an entity that is beyond me but one that loves me, one that wishes the best for me in life, one that guides me for my growth and my benefit, One that leads me upon the journey and path of life.

It is the idea that you are not alone anymore. You are carried. You are guided. You are overseen.

Faith brought this all for me. When you look at the definition of faith in the dictionary, it's the idea of believing in something that is not based on proof, it's the idea of placing trust or confidence on something. I can't prove that God exists or that God has a particular interest in us. But what I can say is that I have experienced it in my life and one can't say what I experienced is false or faked. Just like I trust that your experience in life is just that.

I have experienced what faith can do and where faith has brought me. And for me that is enough. That is what faith is.

What about you? What is your story and thoughts on faith?

This is what the Lord , your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel says: I am Yahweh your God, who teaches you for your benefit, who leads you in the way you should go. Isaiah 48:17 HCSB http://bible.com/72/isa.48.17.HCSB

Witnessing by the Spirit

I remember as I was growing up in church, we would have all these "training" and "workshops" on evangelism. Most of the time, this just ends up being either sessions on why we should tell people about Jesus and His plan for salvation with hardly any practical aspect or theory of how to talk people into believing which essentially boils down to a sales class on selling Jesus to your friends and neighbors. Suffice to say, I didn't get much out of it in the sense of fulfilling the session's purpose. However, what I did get out of it was that either I am the most horrible believer around cause I just don't have the guts or will to tell people about Jesus or I am just super lousy in talking about Jesus in general cause when I tried out some of those "tactics" I just get rejected. Overall, these were never actually encouraging sessions nor were they able to elicit the result the church or pastor wanted, which was to tell more people about Jesus. Instead, I would rather not talk about Jesus, church, faith or salvation in general. These things seemed personal and I would rather just keep them that way. And I am sure a lot of people would agree with me on this one.

However, as you experience life, you come to realize something about yourself. I feel that in the past it wasn't for my lack of knowing how to tell people about Jesus nor was it the lack of why I should tell people about Jesus that held me back, rather it was cause I knew of Jesus but didn't actually know Him personally. It wasn't til I had experienced Jesus for myself in a very personal way and had accepted Him into my life that I started to want to talk about Jesus or tell people about Jesus. It was as if something was unlocked within myself, or in another perspective, something was gifted to me that allowed for me to step out of my shell and preference or habit. And here is where the verse hit me. The disciples have witnessed Jesus, they have lived and walked with Jesus, they know Jesus, but it wasn't until they have received the power of the Spirit that they started to witness to everyone around them. I think this is the same with each and every one of us - it is not until we have experienced and received the Spirit that we would start witnessing out of a supernatural and uncharacteristic-to-ourselves kind of fashion. So in essence, evangelism starts with the Spirit. It starts with having the Spirit within us and is not about what or how much we know or how we go about it. The Spirit will provide the missing pieces.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come on you, and you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8 HCSB http://bible.com/72/act.1.8.HCSB

What is Sacrifice

What does it mean to sacrifice or to make a sacrifice in life? I have often wondered about this in life. And I have in a way seen it as depriving myself of something and equated that with sacrifice in the past. It seems like most of the world around us sees sacrifice that way - when we cut into our own wallet, when we have to spend an extra amount of time on something or someone instead of our own hobbies or ourselves, or even when we have to give up on something we like or give away something we treasure. We seem to see all those as sacrifices in life. And it took me a while to see that this is not everything there is to sacrifice. Sacrifice in this sense seems to always be inward focused, essentially a me first mentality and what I am losing out on in life. However, as we read in the Bible, this is not the type of sacrifice that God requires or is pleased with. Rather, God is looking for an action of good will and sharing, good will to others and sharing with others what you have. In a sense, this is to bless others. And when you think deeper about it, blessing others generally does take a bit of the focus away from ourselves. So in a sense, this is sacrifice. But the focus here is not on us, rather it is on the undercurrent of the action, a drive for love. When you sacrifice out of love, is that really a sacrifice? When I scale back on my own hobbies and ability to take on more work and rather spend the time, energy and money on my kids, is that a sacrifice? It may be a sacrifice in the sense that I get to do less of what I like or I don't get to spend as much time doing what I love for work but ultimately it isn't sacrifice 'cause I get to spend time with my kids. The sacrifice is all worth it.  So next time, when you feel as if you are sacrificing something in life, think about the blessings that you are imparting. To sacrifice is not about us but about blessing others.

Don’t neglect to do what is good and to share, for God is pleased with such sacrifices. Hebrews 13:16 HCSB http://bible.com/72/heb.13.16.HCSB

Underlying purpose

What are our subliminal intentions in life's every action? What is the underlying drive in all that we do? Do we do it out of fear? Out of need? Out of a desire for someone or something in life? We all have something driving our each and every thought and action. We often don't realize it. We often just accept this drive to be a part of us. We don't analyze it. When was the last time you have analyzed your own actions and thoughts and tried to trace down the underlying drive and intention? I would confess that often times I don't reflect as often as I need to. And I have to also admit that when I do reflect, some of the answers I find are not particularly answers I would have wanted to see. I often find that intentions and actions are not as pure as they ought to be nor are they as selfless as they ought.

And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Colossians 3:17 HCSB http://bible.com/72/col.3.17.HCSB

This passage speaks directly to it, speaks directly to the fact that in everything we do and say, it needs to be done in the name of Jesus. So if that is the case, reflect back with me and think of some of the actions in the past day or so. How many of them were done or said for the sake of Jesus? How many of them were driven by the thanksgiving and grace of what Christ has done for us? I would admit that many of mine were not. And I am ashamed to say that this is a consistent battle. It is a battle of laying down my own drive, intentions and desires and allowing Christ to fill me to the point where my words and my actions speak of Him and Him only, where everything I do ends up being a form of praise and testimony to God. So join me in this. Challenge yourself to reflect and to repent and ultimately allow yourself to be filled with the Spirit more so that everything is ultimately done in Jesus' name.

Generosity

During a severe testing by affliction, their abundance of joy and their deep poverty overflowed into the wealth of their generosity. I testify that, on their own, according to their ability and beyond their ability, they begged us insistently for the privilege of sharing in the ministry to the saints, and not just as we had hoped. Instead, they gave themselves especially to the Lord, then to us by God’s will. 2 Corinthians 8:2‭-‬5 HCSB http://bible.com/72/2co.8.2-5.HCSB

 This passage gripped me as I read it today. It gripped me at the sight to see a group of believers, a church, that was lacking in resources and was tested in their faith and life still giving beyond what they are able to because of their love and conviction in life and faith. This challenged me, it challenged me, to look at myself and the churches I have been a part of or even lead and how often we thought of what we have first and how we are able to stay afloat first before we look to the needs of others or to the greater Kingdom work of God. I have to confess that often times, I have looked to take care of my own ship first. I attest to the fact that often times I have lead churches to look after our own coffers and ability to do ministry first before looking at the needs of others. And this was all done in the name of financial stewardship. But here is the thing, as I meditated on this passage, I have come to realize these believers in Macedonia did as the Spirit lead them to do. The Spirit lead them in a spirit of generosity. A generosity based out of love and out of modelling God's generosity of love to us. This is deep. These people did not give out of excess rather they gave out of conviction. They had a conviction in supporting the work that was happening in the greater Kingdom and they were willing to sacrificially give for that. They were willing to make allowance and room within their own church needs so that it can bless the greater Kingdom. How many of our churches are willing to do that? Cut a particular ministry budget or run a leaner ship so that we can invest in the Kingdom. It is not about building our own little plot of kingdom but rather it is about building the Kingdom of God. We are blessed so that we can bless. This is true stewardship.

Growing in Love

 A prayer. How often do we pray to God asking for things that are happening in our life? Or for things that would make life easier? Or even for things to go a certain way? Or even for a friend that may be having a difficult time? And this is what got me and caught my heart while reading through this passage, Paul was writing to the Philippians, these were Christians that have been hurting and have been facing injustice, and while he was writing this, Paul himself was facing some trials of his own in prison. And this is what is important, I find, it is the fact that despite everything not going as one may hope or wish, Paul was still praying. And most of all he was praying in thankfulness to God and also praying that the church will continue to grow in love. Paul didn't pray for the pain to go away in life, rather he embraced it and pray for the joy that the trials brings. These are joy in the fact that as we experience trials and adversity, we see God working through it all. We are able to see God carrying us through. With this we are able to be cleansed and purified in a sense and be filled more with the Spirit.

And I pray this: that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment, so that you can approve the things that are superior and can be pure and blameless in the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9‭-‬11 HCSB http://bible.com/72/php.1.9-11.HCSB

I'm not sure about you but reflecting on this passage, I can remember my life and some of the difficulties involved. I can remember during those times, all I can focus on was myself and the issues at head. It was always after the fact that I would come to the realization of what just happened and how God has actually carried me through and sheltered me from so much more in life. And this is the thing, when we focus internally, we often miss God in the storm. But if we remember to pray and to thank God for everything He has already done in the past, it helps to focus on what God is doing in the midst of the current storm. And we can praise Him in the storm and experience His love grow within us.

Sharing Gospel and Life

We cared so much for you that we were pleased to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us. 1 Thessalonians 2:8 HCSB http://bible.com/72/1th.2.8.HCSB

 Sometimes as pastors we are asked to disciple people and what they actually meant was to create a few more Bible studies, lessons and classes so people can gain more knowledge. Over the years, I have found that this filling of knowledge has not done anyone any good. What is the point of knowing when you have never or don't know how to use that knowledge. It goes back to James and how it talks about needing both faith and works, faith without works is dead and works without faith is fruitless. And as I contemplate about this, I have come to the conclusion that the model Paul presents here is a perfect model for discipleship. In essence, this model is that of both sharing the Gospel and also life with others. That was what Paul did. And when you think about it, that was what Jesus did. Both taught. But more importantly, both lived with the people he was teaching, living through life and showing in a practical way what was being taught lived out in everyday life. The church Paul was discipling and the Apostle that Jesus was leading, they all benefited not only from learning but also having seen it lived out. The church saw Paul live out the Gospel that he was proclaiming and they saw how he followed through in the teaching of Jesus and the radical calling in life. And I have come to embrace that this is what discipleship is about. It is about laying out the Gospel and explaining it but it is balanced with living it out as an example for the ones being discipled.

Discipline

No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11 HCSB http://bible.com/72/heb.12.11.HCSB

 Discipline is never fun. I don't think it is supposed to be fun. Discipline is supposed to be hard and imposing in a sense. Cause when you think about it, what is the point of discipline? It is so that you can be formed toward a goal or an objective. And when you think about that idea of forming, to be formed is to be molded or to be cast. If we were metal and fluid then it would be easy to just be poured into the mold or the cast and be formed as we were meant to be. However, that is not life. Life is more like a block of metal that have been chipped at and burnt and melted by the different aspect of life and experiences. And the end product generally ain't all that pretty. You can probably imagine it as a haphazard concoction of parts. However, as we are called to discipleship and discipline in Christ. We are called to follow Christ and to imitate Him and a part of that is the idea of molding and conforming our life and mind to Him. And this is the part that gets most people, the molding and recasting is hard. Cause we need to be redone. We need to be in a sense reshaped and reoriented. And that will hurt. But we have been promised that the end product is worth it. It is worth it because we become whom God has made us to be and we are now able to do His will as He had intended for us. And I think this is the beauty of discipline. It hurts but its is worth it. It is much like going to the gym to punish and push your body consistently. At the end of the period of training, you will be fitter, stronger and better than what you went in with.

Discipleship

we encouraged, comforted, and implored each one of you to walk worthy of God, who calls you into His own kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 2:12 HCSB http://bible.com/72/1th.2.12.HCSB

This particular verse is an excerpt of a larger portion. However, it was this portion that stood out to me in particular but it is in understanding of the whole passage that creates the meaning. Through the whole passage in which this is a part of, you can see Paul's heart toward the Thessalonians. Paul had a heart of a father toward his children. And this was the thing that stood out to me as I was thinking and meditating through this passage. Paul had a missionary heart and he also had a pastoral heart. He had a heart of building up those around him. In particular he built those that were closest to him and also those in which he had a hand in bringing to faith. Paul had a heart to mentor the individuals and the churches in which he was a part of. And this is what stood out to me. Paul was a father-mentor figure.

Paul was a spiritual father for many and he was also a mentor for many. And it seems like the two goes hand in hand. Paul's way of discipleship with those in his life was that of being a father to them. It was not a person that dictated another nor a person that created another copy of himself. Rather Paul was a person that encourages, comforts and implore another person to essentially be the person God had intended them to be. And this is my take away as I was reading through this. Thinking back to all of my mentors, they were all people that have invested their life in to my. They have all in a sense become like a father-figure to me. They encouraged me when I felt lacking. They comforted me when I fell. And they implored me to be the best I can be, when I hesitated and doubted. They were there for me. They were their to guide me. They were there to see me grow closer to God and to becoming the man that God had intended me to be. And all this was not for the glory or honor of my mentors themselves but rather it was all to be pointed toward God.

This is the model of mentorship and discipleship Paul has exemplified. And this is the way that we have often seen in Christ's walk with the disciples. And this is the way that I will try to be for those that God have called within my circle of influence.

Desires and purposes

For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to desire and to work out His good purpose. Philippians 2:13 HCSB http://bible.com/72/php.2.13.HCSB

We all have desires. We all have cravings. But the question often times is where are these desires and craving coming from. When you think about it, they often time come from one of two places: Internally, from within yourself or Externally, from someone else or circumstances in life. The Internal aspect of desires or cravings are generally a need to fill a void within your life or a need to achieve for your own satisfaction and fulfillment. And externally, it is often time a need to overcome or to show someone that you can perform. This is such a primal aspect of life when you think about it. It is in all of us and in a sense you can see it within the animals too.

However, as I was thinking through this passage, I realized that as Christians we have been given the Holy Spirit and that now there is this new factor in who or what dictate our desires and cravings and purpose. God is now a part of the equation. And the thing is, often times in life we still play by the two original factors before God came into our life. But God is here now and God is speaking. He is nudging us and giving us new desires. And when we follow through with these God-given desires we work for God's purposes and not our own or someone else anymore.

Lately, I have been noticing a lot of what I would call 'gut feelings' in life. And often times, I would ignore them and move on with my regular routine. However, in the past couple months, I have noticed that often times these feels were more prompting of God's Spirit, giving me a particular desire in order to do something or be prepared for something up ahead. And I realize this because in all those times I have not ignored these 'feelings' sometime miraculous and illogical would happen that can only be explained as God is at work. However, for those times, which are many, that I had ignored the feelings, I have found that I was in a more difficult situation or in a situation I was ill prepared for or I just missed out on an opportunity.

I guess the take away for this is this, God is working within us, He is prompting us with desires and cravings and when we follow through with this God given senses, we do God's will and fulfill His purpose.

Enough

Remember this: The person who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the person who sows generously will also reap generously. Each person should do as he has decided in his heart — not reluctantly or out of necessity, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:6‭-‬8 HCSB http://bible.com/72/2co.9.6-8.HCSB

In this world of consumerism and seeking of security in life, we often forget about the parts of life where we decide that we have enough and/or we are enough. One of the greatest stressor for most people and family is the idea of whether they have enough, enough to live day to day. This stress often times becomes a hindrance in what we feel we are able to do. This hindrance in a sense creates the parameters in which we live. And to go further out, it restricts our ability to be generous, to serve others, to bless others and to grow.

In my personal life, I have often bought into this lie. I feel like the ability to do and the ability to build comes from the resources and abilities that I have within. And when I look at life with that mentality, I am limited. Limited in my ability, limited in the resources I am able to muster together and limited in my reach. But I have comes to realize that life is not a sole project, it is a communal and relational effort. When we are all separate we function in part but when combined we are greater as a whole. But most importantly it is the fact that it is upon God that we look to and ask for the abilities and resources necessary. He may bless us directly with it or He may bring alongside others with it.

I guess the take away is this. If we look to ourselves then we are limited to ourselves. But if we look to God then we are limited by the limitlessness of God. If we do and work and build as God intend and be dependent on God, God's grace and blessing will overflow in to all aspect of our lives. We are enough and we have enough, not because of us but because of God.

Partners

I do not call you slaves anymore, because a slave doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from My Father. John 15:15 HCSB http://bible.com/72/jhn.15.15.HCSB

Just dwelling on this passage, letting it sink in, it is quite amazing. Just think of it, God is God and we are created. The creator and the created are on two completely different plane of thoughts and purpose. Yet, God is willing not to tell and command us to do as He say but rather He has brought us into a relationship with Him in which He explains and invite us as a partner in His work. This blows my mind. It is not because we are worthy to be a partner in His work nor because He needs us, rather it is a choice of displaying love that He does so. In a sense, He is willing to allow for our brokenness and our slowness to become a part of His work and plan. He is allowing for us to be a partner and to take ownership in His work.

Stepping back, what does this mean for us in life? A couple weeks back, my son and his grandfather was working in the yard. They were building a retaining wall out of stone blocks for the flower and grass. It was interesting to see my dad allow my son to work with him and allow for my son to set the pace. It would have been faster and more perfect in construction if my dad was to do it himself but instead he invited and allow a 4 year old to work alongside and to in a sense set the pace of things and to allow for mistakes and imperfections to creep in. Thinking back, this is how life is with God and us and in a way this is how we are to be as a church and as individuals. It isn't about efficiency but rather about the relationships and ownership through partnership in life and purpose.

God, search me.

Lord , You have searched me and known me. You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand on me. Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. Psalms 139:1, 5-5, 7, 23-24 HCSB http://bible.com/72/psa.139.1-24.HCSB

Reading through Psalm 139, the grandeur of God's knowledge of us and His willingness to take an interest in us has always amazed me. However, the thing that stood out as I read this today was the fact that God is the one that initiates in knowing me and it was never the other way around. It was God that took an interest in my life. It was God that knows where I am, what I am doing, what I am thinking. God just knows me. And the amazing thing is that He took the initiative to do so.

But not only does God knows us, He is there with us. He is the one that is encircling us. He is the one that has placed His hand of blessings and guidance on us. He is the one that goes before us and after us. He is there for us. His Spirit is with us. And as Christians, we have been gifted the Spirit to indwell within us as an advocate, as the One empowering and enabling us and as a sign of our relationship with Him. It is amazing.

There is no place I can be, no valleys of life, no hardship, no cave within my soul that God is not there with me. God is there. And the prayer for us is this, for God to search our heart, test whether we are aligned with His, so that He can change and lead us in His way. That is the prayer that we should have, a submissive attitude and being. God is here always waiting for us. God is here always wanting the best for us. God is there with a future for us. Now the question is whether we are willing to allow Him in to do so. He is here for us. And He will continue to be there for us. No matter our concerns, God has a path for us. And even if it is dark and hard, He will carry us through.

Underdog

David said to Saul, “Don’t let anyone be discouraged by him; your servant will go and fight this Philistine! ” But Saul replied, “You can’t go fight this Philistine. You’re just a youth, and he’s been a warrior since he was young.” 1 Samuel 17:32-33 HCSB http://bible.com/72/1sa.17.32-33.HCSB

Being an underdog has always been a battle within my head. This has been something that I have been trying hard to work out of my system. There have been times when I have walked into a room full of pastors and I felt like I am highly unqualified to be standing in the same room as these. These are men and women of God that have done great things, lead great things and have served in ways I don't even dream of. It doesn't matter if I had more theological training than them. It doesn't matter if I had more years of practical experience. It doesn't matter who my mentors were and how qualified they were in building me up. In fact, it doesn't matter whether in a metric sense I had done more. In a sense, it doesn't matter who they are and where they come from, I still felt like the small pea in the room. And when I visit their churches, I feel like, if only I am as capable as them then I may be able to make an impact as they seemed to have made. Or when they speak, I wished I had the eloquence that they have. I have to confess, often times I look at my peers and see giants, not in the negative sense but rather it is just that they are so much better than I am. I feel out of place and insignificant. I feel like I have no contribution to offer. This is a constant battle. It is a comparison I make within my head regardless of what people around me say. And this is toxic.

My wife has noticed this with me. She has noticed my constant drive to learn and improve. Not that these are necessarily bad things but rather she see it ending up as a never ending pursuit. She see it as  becoming my drive for the sake to prove to myself. And this is wrong. Looking at the account of David and Goliath, you see a boy that is essentially an under dog coming to fight against a warrior trained at birth. It is a fight between a seemingly unqualified kid verses that of a battle-harden warrior. But David was not afraid. David volunteer to meet this foe and challenge. It wasn't because David is secretly more qualified but rather David was called and empowered by God. It was this sense of God calling him to act that David knows he will be empowered to accomplish this task. And this is the mindset I find myself needing to work on. I am not more qualified in life based on what I know and can do but rather my qualification comes from my calling. And as God has called, God will enable and empower to do the task. This is what I need to focus on. The Spirit within will

Grace overflowed

And the grace of our Lord overflowed, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners” — and I am the worst of them. But I received mercy for this reason, so that in me, the worst of them, Christ Jesus might demonstrate His extraordinary patience as an example to those who would believe in Him for eternal life. 1 Timothy 1:14-16 HCSB http://bible.com/72/1ti.1.14-16.HCSB

Grace is often something we take for granted. We know we are sinners and have done wrong but often times we continue to live as such without actually changing our life. And yet despite these relapse into sin or even our active decision to sin, Christ still forgives us. His patience with us is almost unfathomable at times. Looking back at all the times when I have went astray, He has always waited for me to return to His embrace. And it was there that I experienced love, grace and forgiveness.

I have found that God's love and patience is always overflowing and this is characterized through His grace for us. It is not that we deserve it but rather it is because His grace points towards Himself and His character. In a way, this points towards His greatness and His worthiness of our worship. And as a natural response, it seems only right for us to thank Him through worship, love and obedience.

Our identity

And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, then He who raised Christ from the dead will also bring your mortal bodies to life through His Spirit who lives in you. Romans 8:11 HCSB http://bible.com/72/rom.8.11.HCSB

And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the forces of Hades will not overpower it. Matthew 16:18 HCSB http://bible.com/72/mat.16.18.HCSB

Our identity, it is always interesting to ask someone who they are. Most of the time they would tell you what they do or who they are married to or who their kids are. But very rarely do we have a very clear image of who they are as a person. And I would argue that most of us don't actually know. We live our life but our life end up defining who we are. 

And I think this is the lie that a lot of us fall into. We think we know who we are and that we create and define our life but in reality it is the circumstances and life that defines who we are. And when life doesn't go the way we think it should, we often question who it is we are. When we loss that job or that someone that was close and precious to us, we loss who we are. We have spent so much of our life being define by what we do, who we know, what we have done that when anyone of those things are taken away we loss us.

As I think on these passages, I notice something interesting. We as Christians belong to God. We have been given the Spirit to dwell within us. In a sense, we are now defined by the Spirit because we are driven by the Spirit from within. When the Spirit is within us, the Spirit will be the driving force of our life and all of its decisions. The circumstances, surrounding and relationships of life doesn't drive our life and who we are anymore, rather the Spirit does now. The Spirit renew us. We are now a new creation. We have been renewed from the inside out. And this is who we are. We are redeemed. We are loved. We belong to Christ. That in a sense is our identity.

And when we find our identity in Christ, we are enabled and empowered to do the work of God. And this work will be able to withstand the assaults of Satan and his minions. Often times, like we have already said, we find our identity in ourselves and in what we do. We often end up doing what we know or what we want or reacting to what is happening but this often times have little to nothing of what God has in mind for us to do. And when trouble comes, our work crumbles. It crumbles because it was never founded upon Christ and the Spirit's power. It was founded upon our own strength, will, identity and desires. And it all crumbles. And with this crumbling, so does our identity.

When our identity is found in Christ, He will give us the Spirit to do the work of God and it will last. This is the test of our life and work and whether we are Spirit-filled.

Finding rest

“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. Matthew 11:28-29 HCSB http://bible.com/72/mat.11.28-29.HCSB

Have you ever thought about these couple verses? I have. I have even taught them and given them as advices to people. But at the same time, I have to admit that I have never been truly impacted by what these verses really convey and mean.

Life always seems to be unstopping. Life is always stacking up. There is always so much to do. When you think about it, the 24 hours in a day just isn't enough to get everything that needs to be done done. Especially when you are balancing kids, relationships, work, volunteering, eating and health, there just isn't enough room to make it all happen nor is it healthy to. I have tried it. And I failed miserably. I stretched myself so thin that I wasn't effectively doing any of the things I'm trying to accomplish. In the end, having done it but poorly was as good as having not done it. What made it worst was the deterioration it actually caused upon my relationships with my wife and kids, my ministry, my health and most importantly my spiritual health. I was trying to do it all but I was actually doing nothing. How many of us are like that? With good intentions, we pave the way for destruction. We end up working against ourselves.

As I was reading and pondering upon these verses, I realized something. When Jesus told us to come, He was telling us to take up his yoke and to learn from Him. With that He promises us rest. The yoke was essentially the harness that pulled the till for the farmer. Often times, a farmer will use a set of animals linked together to pull the till. This was the imagine of yoking together. Christ was telling us to take up His yoke, as in to be harness and linked to Him. Linked to Him because He is willing to share our load, burden and toll. He is also there to guide us along. When the farmer yoke two animals together, if they are uneven, the larger and strong animal will become the dominant one and the one that ends up leading the pair and carrying the bulk of the burden and task at hand.

This is the imagery that Christ is giving us. When we pull life along on our own, it will be heavy and often times we can't do it all. But He is offering us another way, He is telling us to submit and be linked to Him. He will carry the load. He will guide us on the path of life. He will teach us.

No, we may not get everything done in life like we have anticipated. Nor will we create a life as we imagined. And that is fine. It is fine because God loves us and He wants the best for us. When we are yoked to Him, He will guide us down the path that we need to go. He will carry us through the hard and tough times. He will in a sense, restructure our priority in life. We will start to see that some of those things that we viewed as important in life is actually not as important compared to something else. We learn that life is never too heavy because He is already there carrying the majority of the load for us.  What we need to understand and this is what will ultimately give us rest is that God is already handling it for us and we just need to tag along. This is not to say we don't have to work at it but rather what we are doing now is joining into what God is already doing in all aspect of our life.

It is the idea of letting go. Letting go of the need and want of controlling life. Let God take the wheel of your life. Let His love and grace bring you rest as you know He is here with you in the midst of it all.

Losing the saltiness and light

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt should lose its taste, how can it be made salty? It’s no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled on by men. “You are the light of the world. A city situated on a hill cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it gives light for all who are in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:13-16 HCSB http://bible.com/72/mat.5.13-16.HCSB

Recently, I have been able to step back from my role as a pastor to a local church. This decision to leave what I have invested my time, life and family in for the last five years was not an easy one but it was the right one. In the year leading up to my leaving I have been having a sense of unease in my life. It is that sense that you get when you don't feel like you are in the right place or doing the right thing, you can call it a gut feeling but I know deep down I'm in the wrong place and doing what I'm not called for. It was hard to process, having no place else to go and having invested so much in what I was doing, I did not want to let go. Letting go was hard.

What was harder still is the fact that as I look back, I can now see where it all went wrong in my life and why I was not in the right place and doing the right thing anymore. It is not that I have not done my duty as a pastor - teaching, preaching and giving spiritual guidance - but rather in the giving I have gotten lost in it all. Gotten lost because I have lost the vision and purpose of what God has called me to do. Lost because in losing that vision and purpose, I had become disconnected on a personal level with God. There were aspirations and visions for the future of the church but there was a stubbornness in moving from those with in the pews and I retreated. Not retreating into God but rather retreating into my mind and what I held on to as my calling and purpose. I held so tightly to those things that I had forgotten whom it was that gave it to me and instead have replaced the Giver with the given. And this is where I became lost. I tried to make it work, I tried to rework it so that it would work. But ultimately, I gave up when it seems like there is no more option.

In the end, it was the grace of God that brought me back. He created a crisis in my family and my life. We have gone through crisis before and we have worked through my bout of depressions in the past but this time it was different. I questioned my calling as a pastor. I tried leaving. But the deadening silence from God was overwhelming and His continual closing of doors and opportunities was hard to ignore. In the midst of this He said, "I have called and set you aside, you are a pastor and you are mine. Be the light you have been given." And in here, this is when I knew, I have sinned. I have tried to give and tried to serve and tried to bring about a vision set within my heart but at the end of the day God ask us for our life and worship not anything else. It was never our effort or our dedication to a vision or calling, it was to Him alone.

I was a salt that have lost its saltiness. I was a light that was covered. Covered when I allowed others to define the parameters of the vision. Covered when I decided to work at it on my own wisdom and strength. Covered when I reworked the calling and vision to fit my own comfort, circumstances and life. The covering dimmed the light. The covering started to snuff out the effectiveness of the light shining. The covering ultimately started to snuff out and starve the flame. I was a salt that have lost it saltiness and a light that have been covered.

This is a reminder. A reminder of our dependence upon God. A reminder of what our purpose and calling is. We are the salt and light to the world. This saltiness and this light is a reflection of God, it is the carrying of the Gospel. But in order to do that, we need to be connected and in tune to God. We need to be willing to submit ourselves to his refining process. We need to be willing to be where He wants us, doing the task He has for us. This is when we do the will of God and people will notice and lives will be changed.