Christmas hamper, a family in need

A Christmas hamper - a collective collection for a family or individual in need during the Christmas season to help carry them through. As noted in a previous post (see here), my family has been working with little leading up to this holiday season. With the kids getting older but yet still very young, it became a point of figuring out how to help them understand the balancing act of living a simple lifestyle as a choice versus living frugally due to circumstances of life. This will be the second holiday season in which the kids will be experiencing this. And here is where the blessing comes in. We have been blessed to be living in a community that cares and loves each other in a very neighborly fashion, where neighbors care for and are concerned for the wellbeing of other families. In essence, they believe a neighborhood is more than just a place to live but a village of families supporting each other.

This community of families, after finding out that my family will be making this hard choice once again this holiday season, decided to band together and do a Christmas hamper drive for us. They wanted the kids to be able to have gifts under the tree. They wanted us to have enough resources to have a family Christmas dinner. They wanted us to be able to spend time as a couple and have a date night. This is a community of families and neighbors that decided on their own that they wanted to bless us in this season of blessing. They wanted us to be able to experience a normalcy that was lost due to the circumstances of life.

I am very thankful for this community. I am very humbled by this gift and this help. Although we were pushed to making these difficult choices in life, we weren't pushed over the edge. Yet this community didn't want to see us over the edge before they helped, they wanted to be there while it was rough and wanted to walk alongside us to help us get back on our feet. I was humbled. For those of us that have had better days, we may be used to helping others. We too are used to being the ones to help give a hand to those in need. And often times, we don't realize it when we ourselves need help too. I was humbled by this experience and this quote from one of the organizers of the hamper.

"We can never be too proud to accept help. All of us need help at one time or another. Sometimes it is for us to help and sometimes it is for us to receive help. We have to be gracious in accepting help. What comes around will eventually go around. You may need a lift this year, but next year when things are better you will be able to give someone else a lift."

This sums up the holiday and Christmas spirit quite well. We have been blessed and gifted with so much in life and we are responsible to use what we have to bless others. And none of us are so above that we can't use a little help here and there in life.

In entering into the Christmas time, this humbling experience has helped me reflect on life. Reflect on the greater gift that was given to us, the gift of love, blessing and grace that came from God in the form of His Son Jesus. We were in trouble, and although not necessarily looking for or asking for help, He initiated and offered. And we can only accept humbly and graciously this gift given to us and be thankful.

I am thankful for this community in which I live. I am thankful for those who have rallied around my family to support us through this season. And I am ultimately thankful for the hope that God gave us and continually reminds us of in the events, remembrance and celebration of Christmas.

So step back a little. If you have extra, use it to bless someone else. And if you are in need, be willing to receive help. It is there.

 

Entering into the holiday season with little

A few months back, I wrote about a mom detailing her emotional pain of not being able to give to her daughter the things the little one has asked for due to the financial situation the family was experiencing at the moment (Read it HERE.) Little did I know that my family would be in a similar situation come this Christmas season. Over the course of this year, my wife and I have experienced a number of job changes and job loss and with this in mind, we are in a season of financial constraint, with neither of us officially working for a pay cheque.

For sure, there could be worse situations in life. And to be honest, despite the tightness of finance, we are still relatively positive in being able to find something before our finances become critical and run dry. And I am fully aware of families in situations that are worse off than we are. And here is the reflection that I have, we take so much for granted but life is not something we can take for granted.

In being placed in this relatively uncomfortable position (read about my thought of being in a state of discomfort HERE) of constraint during a season characterized by consumerism and entertainment, it is in itself a blessing and a curse. It's a curse in the fact that you feel you are not able to enjoy the holidays as much as people that are less constrained in their lifestyle. But it's a blessing in the fact that you are essentially sidelined from the consumeristic nature of the holiday season and are instead forced to focus on what the holiday is truly about.

Holidays for us now, with the material gifting and shopping taken away, along with some of the paid experiences being priced out of range, has become an intentional time of relationship and quiet reflection. When you are not able to compensate relationships with material, you are challenged to gift the gift of time and presence, a gift in its truest sense: priceless. You are challenged to reflect on what matters in your life, to reflect over the past year's experiences, relationships, and where life is heading in general.

For me, it truly is becoming a time of reflection. This is probably one of the first Christmases that I don't have to work the various Christmas services and events at my local church. The idea of the holidays and the Christmas season takes on a more pure meaning. It has become a time to reflect on the gift that was once given to us 2000 years ago in the form of a babe named Jesus. A gift of love and peace, a gift of salvation and reconciliation, a gift to which no other material gift can compare. And at the same time, in acknowledging this gift from God, I have come to challenge myself in reflecting how I have been a gift to other people.

Some of the questions that I have been asking myself recently:

1. Have I been present for my kids and family? In a fashion where I am willing to sacrifice and gift myself for them?


2. Have I been a gift for my friends, neighbors and acquaintances? How have I been serving them out of love with no expectations of gain or recognition?

We have been gifted so much in life but often times we don't realize how much we have been blessed until we truly are put in a position of little. And my challenge for all of us, including myself, is this:

Even with what little we have, or for some that have plenty, be willing to serve and be a gift to those around you this season in the measure that has been given to us by God.

This is what the Christmas spirit is about, whether we have much or little, we can give the gift of love.

 

Living in a state of discomfort

Everyone wants to live life comfortably. There's a whole industry and marketing on how to make life more comfortable. The idea of comfort, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing, but there's a danger with comfort that's often overlooked.

Comfort gives a picture of stability and calmness. But at the same time, this stability and calmness comes with a price. A price in which uncertainty and change doesn't have a place within the framework of comfort. And here is the Achilles' Heel of comfort, it is the inability to change, move and to grow organically in life. Comfort ends up being a sanctuary built and created by ourselves against the tide of the world around us. It is a place in which we are able to find stability and the knowledge of knowing what we know is enough and that we can rest comfortably in what we know.

So then, why is being comfortable negative? It isn't in and of itself, but if ever need to navigate change in life, and personal growth in and of itself is a process of continual change, it will rock the stability and comfort level in your life.

Most people and families operate on a level of certainty. We generally call them routines of life or patterns of life. However, the flipside to this is generally known as chaos and a breakdown of structure. I'm not advocating that living in a state of chaos and lack of structure is a good thing, that in itself is very counter productive due to the nature of not navigating with any intentionality or purpose or direction.

Rather I am looking at that in between place of life. The balance of being fully comfortable and fully basking in chaos. This is a very unique place. It's a place in which you haven't fully abandoned comfort and stability but you have jumped off the cliff into the storm of chaos. And here is the unique place where growth and change happens.

It is in the state of discomfort and intentionality that we are able to push toward growth and change. This isn't just within us personally but can be extended toward businesses, organizations and even our own family. In order to move forward and change organically, we have to be willing to step out of our comfort zone. We need to be willing to embrace a level of discomfort and chaos in life. We need a bit of the unknown. And it is within this unknown and discomfort that we find who we are, where we are going and who we can depend on.

It is a unique position in life. It is a posture of allowing what you have built to be destroyed and rebuilt. It is a gamble that the outcome will be better than what you had before. But without this, you will only continue being where you were and who you were before. There would be no change, no growth.

Some of this growth will demand us to give up something or let go of something. And it'll be alright. You're learning to move beyond to something greater.

So the thought and challenge I want to leave with you today is this:

Are you so comfortable and stable that you have ceased to grow and improve? And how are you maneuvering your life so that you can keep growing, improving and changing?

 

Using Microsoft OneNote as a Family

I have been a longtime user of Microsoft OneNote since its early days with the very first version released in 2003. I have always found OneNote to be powerful and quite flexible but it's often highly misunderstood and somewhat overwhelming of an experience for new users. It's one of those productivity programs that Microsoft has had in their arsenal of tools that was created more for themselves and for fans. But this is a program that can revolutionize your life and your family's digital organization.

To be honest, Microsoft OneNote is not the only program of its kind but at the same time it's relatively unique. Its closest competitor would probably be Evernote, but Evernote was never created with as flexible nor as powerful of a framework nor is it as feature rich. Evernote was created and catered to a very specific need of writing and jotting down notes, ideas, lists and having it all accessible and searchable. It does a very admirable job. I have used it myself, until recently. (You can read about it here.)

I have found OneNote to be more than just a place to collect thoughts, notes and lists. Yes, it does all those things and does it pretty good. Especially considering that they allow for graphics, sounds and videos to be attached. Its power lies in its flexibility for the user to mold and create a system as they see fit. It's like a blank notebook or binder or even a scrapbook. It's a blank slate for which tools are provided to use as you will.

This idea of OneNote as a digital blank slate is what makes the learning curve so steep and so overwhelming for some users. But I'm here to guide you through some the ways that I have used it with my family to help us organize and be at the top of our communication and information game.

Recipes. Everyone probably has some way to keep family recipes together, recipes that you find off the internet, or recipes that you begged from your friends and associates. TheWife and I used to have a shoe box in which we kept our collection of recipes. It had no organization nor system of cataloging. It was just in the box. And it was hard to find what we needed. It took time, but we eventually digitized all these recipes and created a collection within OneNote that is indexed and searchable. This made it so much easier in finding that dessert or that roast that we want to make. Or even that bread recipe that we use regularly for our church ministry. Having it digitized in OneNote organized the collection of recipes and most importantly, made it digitally portable to all of our devices. We can simply pull up the recipe we need from anywhere that we have WiFi or data connection. We can email off these recipes to friends and families when they ask for it. It is just that simple. Cooking has never been more simplified. It's just so much easier to have a tablet like the iPad or Microsoft Surface on and opened to the recipe when you need it.

Lists. Man, this is one of the earliest functions that we used as a family and one of the ones that we showed off to families and friends most often. List making is nothing new or revolutionary. But OneNote's ability to sync between devices in real time makes this so much cooler. I can be at the grocery store and checking off the list (yes, it has actual checkable check boxes), and theWife can be at home adding to the list. It would just pop up for me and she will know what items I have already gotten. And to top it off, she can make notes on the page and I would be able to get it almost instantaneously. Additionally, sometimes certain things you are buying just can't be described in words. Things like these are perfect to have a picture attached as an item on the list. There is no error of grabbing the wrong thing, cause someone needed a particular brand and such. Lists are just this simple with OneNote and powerfully expanded. We use lists for shopping, trip packing, to do's, etc.

Projects and Thoughts. OneNote is a scrapbook at its heart. We have used OneNote as a place for collecting our research on parenting skills and techniques, especially in relation to our son's needs (read about it here). We have used it for building our home renovation, improvement and maintenance planning. We have used it for storing ideas, prices, needs and priorities. We have used it collecting and storing random information. It has been a place for general planning of life, events, trips, ideas, etc. Essentially, OneNote is a place where you can dump your family life.

OneNote has been indispensable for theWife and I in all these years of relationship. From our initial wedding planning, to when we moved several times, to learning to be parents, to our personal and family projects, and even to the most basic shopping list, it has been a place where we gather information that is important to us. It's a system that's always evolving. It's a notebook that's constantly being reorganized and restructured as the need of our family changes. It's also been a place to can look back and see how far we have come and some of the memories that were made.

I'm not sure what system or tools your family uses to organize life and to get all the information together. But I would recommend that you take a deep look at Microsoft OneNote as a starting point for organizing the crazy life any family may have. If we want the time to do what matters most, if we want to experience life to its fullest, we all need a system to help us get there. For my family, OneNote is one of those tools. And I hope it may be yours too.

 

Shared Calendar: Being on the same page

I'm not sure about you but for me, life is hectic. Living life as a single was bad enough. When you live life as a couple it gets even more complex. Then throw in the kids and it gets downright hectic. Life just never stops. There's always that next appointment or event that you are all trying to get to. And to make it more complex, sometimes events and appointments are for just one person or one kid, and sometimes everyone's individual schedules start conflicting with each other.

This is where having a shared calendar system comes in. I know many families already have some type of system. And many people have some form of system at work to keep track of things. But here is where the breakdown comes in to play, they are all different systems. And eventually something will fall through the cracks and an event or appointment gets double booked or forgotten. The shared calendar or "family calendar" is where it all comes together.

The shared calendar is something that I have used with my wife since we got married. At first it was not so much for avoiding scheduling conflicts or double bookings. I was a grad student at the time and she wanted to know when I get out of class and when my assignments are due. It was a system to keep me in check and to keep me accountable for what I was doing. However, as we started to add to the calendar, we started to add in particular work events that my wife had or nights out with the girls that she had.  It was essentially a heads up for me to know what is up in her life so I can react accordingly.

Eventually, this calendar of ours evolved to not only include all our events and work stuff but also chores that we have at home. Chores such as vacuuming and laundry that are done on a more scheduled basis. Then when the kids came along, it included the kids' events and play dates and such.

Having everything on the same page helps with planning and coordinating. It helps us know what we have agreed to with other people without necessarily needing to consult with each other first.  In a sense, it allows the freedom of knowing that we wouldn't be overfilling ourselves or creating conflict. The calendar system allows for us to note down what is happening and when. It becomes a good place to consult when we plan for family time and events. It allows for us to know who is able to pick up the kids when and if one of us will not be home for dinner or will be coming home late for any reason.

We execute this shared calendar system through Google Calendar. Using iCal or Microsoft's Outlook Calendar works too. The point is to have a place that all of you are able to access and edit with the devices that you own and use.

The beauty of Google Calendar is the ability to use it on essentially any mobile device and tablet, while being accessible on the website and also on most computers' default calendar program. As an added bonus, although I do not personally use this function, it also has the ability to allow for other family members to subscribe to it or to share it without editing capability.

Most of us have various digital devices ranging from smartphones to tablets to computers, and all these devices are connected. This connectedness allows for the ability to share and connect in a way that we weren't able to before. It's allowed my family to leverage technology to help simplify our life. It's allowed us to be on the same page on what is happening and when. It's allowed us to mitigate potential conflicts that may arise from miscommunication and poor planning. It's created a system of trust and accountability as both of us know what is happening in the other's life. And if something happened outside of the scheduled events, it promotes talking to grow closer together. The fact that we know what is happening in each other's life, we now can move on from asking what is happening to asking what happened during those said events in life.

I'm not sure about you, but having a shared calendar system is a life saver and a time saver for us. And I hope that this has been an inspiration for you to start something similar if you haven't already. And for those that have a system that works for them, I would love to hear about it.

Dealing with burnout

Burnout is one of those things that people talk about and people seemingly understand but when you dig deeper, no one can seem to explain what it is. If you've been following some of the new studies, there's a close relation between burnout and depression. But either case, burnout is a state in which you feel a lack of enthusiasm, lack of motivation and a drop in productivity. Whether or not this is a true condition is still being debated by the professionals.

Most people focus on the occupational aspect of burnout and it's true that this is where you will find it most often. But I want us to focus on life as a whole, meaning some of us may experience burnout or burnout-like symptoms in other aspects of our life such as being a parent, being a student or just life in general. I think thinking of it holistically is very important because life isn't just about work. Rather, work is a part of life as a whole.

Often times, the path to burnout is not so much about the work that's being done or the situations in life leading up to it but that there isn't enough rest and balance in life. Without the rest that your body, mind and soul desperately needs, you will eventually run yourself to the ground via exhaustion. Some people call this burnout, some call it running yourself into a rut and some just see it as life and that you just need to get over it. This lack of rest is a tell-tale symptom of imbalance in life. Imbalance often starts with the mis-allocation of our life's resources, our energy, or our time toward something, which then becomes overdrive and suffocates our own ability to reassess, rest and balance life.

The cost of imbalance is devastating. The fact that you are continually mis-focusing your energy, time, relationships and resources will impact your life whether you admit it or not. Or more like we are so used to it that we don't know what being healthy and balanced is anymore. It will put strains on your relationships, your family, your job and your work. It will affect your physical and mental health. It will affect your inner soul, your spirit and your spirituality.

This continuation of mis-focus or imbalance will eventually break you. Why do you think mental illness, depression and anxiety is at an all time high? It's because with the nonstop world around us, we haven't had a chance to just step back and take a break anymore, refocus and maintain balance. With the increased demand of our attention and the demand of an instantaneous response, we have forgotten how to wait, be still and just listen to the world around us.

Stepping away from it all is imperative for your health and mine. I have seen the edge of the cliff, I have seen the depth of the cliff, and I have seen it in others. Sometimes, we are so used to performing that we lose sight of what we are working toward. Other times, we have invested so much into something that we can't see anything else. And I'm not just talking about work as in occupation but also about the other aspects of life - being a parent, being a spouse, being a friend, etc. We all work toward something but when it becomes imbalanced, you walk a fine line.

You can't do any of that without taking a step back. You need it. Your family needs it from you. Your work needs it for you to perform optimally. And those around you need it from you to help maintain a healthy relationship.

Stepping back is hard. It's an intentional time. A time to take a mental break. A time to take a physical break. A time for your soul, mind and body to catch up again. What this break looks like will be different for everybody. Some just need a hobby. Some just need sleep. Some just need quiet. It is different and very personal.

But the fact of the matter is, whether you are on the road to burnout or not or whether you believe in burnout or not, you need balance in life. And balance in life is only achievable if we are intentional in what we are doing.

What does living intentionally look like?

1. Learn to say no and yes based on your priorities and abilities.


2. Learn what fuels you and what drains you. Make sure you are balanced.


3. Learn to listen to your soul and your body. Sometimes, it knows us better in terms of what we need to rebalance.


4. And most importantly for me, learn from and lean on your relationship with God and allow that to overflow to the rest of your life. With God as the source and center of your life, you can trust that you will never be depleted nor imbalanced.

An article of interest pertaining to using and finding intentional rest and space in life is HERE.

Taking time out

Taking some time out and away from it all. Don't we all dream about this? I'm not talking about just a vacation or a trip. I'm talking about taking some time out and walking away from life.

Why walk away from life? Life is always moving and going. Life doesn't ever take a break. So the question and often the guilt is 'Can I afford to just walk away?'

And my answer for you is yes, you absolutely need to take a step away from life every so often and you can't afford not to. You can't afford to keep going. You can't afford to keep up with the race and pace of life. You must stop, drop and walk.

So why am I such a strong advocate for this? Because when we keep going and running, we often lose sight of what we are doing and why we are doing it. Or for some, we become so absorbed in what we are doing that we haven't taken the time to see what we have done. We need to step back and reassess. Reassess what we are doing. Reassess where we are going. Reassess if it is worth it. Reassess how and what we need to change to realign ourselves.

 

So what have I gotten from taking these 'steps back' and 'time outs' in life? I have gained clarity. I have gained a healthier psyche and spirituality in life. I have gained more energy to pursue what I feel called to do. I have been able to improve the relationships around me.

Without the step back, you wouldn't know what is wrong. Without the step back, you wouldn't know what it is that is great and central in your life.

So my challenge for you is this, take an intentional step back and intentionally schedule it in your life. How do I do this?

1. Schedule in your time away. Set aside the time on your calendar. Doesn't have to be long, but enough for you to focus and refocus.


2. Inform those closest around you why you are doing this and what it is for.


3. Use that time to contemplate and reflect. Use it to meditate and pray.


4. Write/Draw. Have a log/journal and write or doodle out your thoughts. It isn't so much for you to read but for you to just release your brain and its burdens.


5. Lastly, take what you have learned about yourself and the renewed energy you gained and put them toward the things that matter in life, your family, yourself and your calling.

This is what some call taking a Sabbath or a Sabbatical. You need it.

Core Words: Duty

This is the last of the series on Core Words, knowing and understanding yourself in order to define what is important in your life and reframing your life around those things. The last topic to cover is the last pillar or conduit. For me it's the word "Duty."

There's a foundation from which everything in life stems and a goal towards which you aim in everything you do. Family is a place where you learn and grow in these two aspects. The other parallel is duty. Duty is a big word with different meanings for different people. And if you were to throw a stone at any one person on the street and ask them to define duty, they will probably have a different answer for you.

Duty for me is two fold. It's what you do in life, as in your profession, your calling, or whatever else you busy your time with during your waking hours. And it's the obligations of life. Here we will explore both and how they are interrelated.

First off is your profession and/or calling or just what you do. This is your job and work, either what you get paid to do or what you have decided to do because you have a passion for it. This is probably the next heaviest use of your time in life, aside from family. This is probably the place where you spend most of your energy and waking hours. This is the place where if you were intentional in what you're doing, you can make an impact on the lives of those around you, those you work with or those you serve in your work. Work is often viewed as just a way to pay the bill, and this isn't wrong, but work can be so much more if you take it intentionally as a place where you can make an impact on the world around us.

Think about it. Whether you are the cashier at a big box store or the executive of a multi-million dollar enterprise, you will interact with people. Your attitude at your position and how you interact with those around you will say much about what is grounding your life and what you are aiming for. For the cashier that is more likely than not making minimum wage and probably not fully making ends meet in life, this job can be a get-it-done-to-get-the-cash-and-move-on or it can be a platform in making the lives of those that spend those couple minutes with you at the checkout a nightmare or a paradise in shopping. When you are aiming for excellence, your attitude and your ethics will reflect it. The people that come to you will see a difference that you ain't working just for the cash but rather you are also working to make this essential part of life better. And if you are the executive? Yeah, you have power, prestige and worth, in the world's eyes, but how do your clients and workers view you? Do they view you as the monster of a boss that they need to gravel and kiss up to? Or are you an executive that is known to care and take care of the staff, one that wants to help build up those around you and move them on to a better place in the world? It makes a difference.

Our work place is often like a second home for most of us. Our coworkers can either be competition in a cut-throat world in the advancement of yourself. Or they can be the family away from home that is working mutually together to make the world a more humane and liveable place. A place where you can make a difference and an impact, no matter how small or isolated, is still an impact.

Moving on to duty as obligation, this is the part where duty isn't so much about what you do, but what you have committed yourself to. Yes, your work and your volunteering is a form of obligation but what I want us to delve deeper in is this idea of a deeper obligation in life. The type of obligation that you make within your heart and your mind. The type of obligation that you are willing to stake down and take a stance for.

These obligations take many forms. For some, it is the obligation that they will be there for their family no matter what. For some, it is the deep belief that is driven by their foundations of life to live a certain way or to make an intentional decision on how life is to be done. It's a heart issue. Where are you going to place your life on? What are you fighting for in life? Are you fighting for something that is worthwhile?

In pulling back and understanding the two aspects of duty, you may see why I have chosen this as one of my Core Words. Duty in what you do, how you do it and why you do it. It's the place where you live out what drives you, and the place where you practice and work toward the goal of life.

I'm not sure about you. But as we close this series on Core Words, I hope that you have been challenged to reflect upon life, on what your foundation is, your goals, and how you're going to get there. For me, my foundation is built upon faith in something greater and bigger that creates purpose and I am working toward integrity in all I do, via the means of family, the place where I have learned both and where I can practice both, and of duty, making an impact on the world in which I live.

I hope this has been an eye opener. I hope that you too would reflect and select your Core Words in life.

I would love to hear back on your thoughts, comments and what you have selected as your Core Words.

(This is part 5 of 5 pertaining to the ideal of Core Words.)

Part 1: Defining and Knowing Yourself

Part 2: What is Integrity

Part 3: Baseline of Faith

Part 4: Family

Part 5: Duty

Core Words: Family

Core Words are words that I live by. These are words that form my basic operating principles of life. We have looked at integrity as the destination and goal for everything I do. We have looked at how faith undergirds everything as the foundation and the reason for everything I do and every decision I make. So now we move on to what I call the conduits. The idea of how I move from living with faith towards having integrity in everything I do. These two conduits are family and duty. Here I want to tackle family.

Family are those that are closest to us. The ones that know us the best. The ones that see what the public doesn't see. The ones that know what the public doesn't know. Family are generally the ones we are most comfortable with. The ones we generally fall back on when the going gets tough. They are our safety.

However, for some families, the opposite of what I had just described is true. It's a place of strangers. It's a place where trust cannot be held, cause it has been broken one too many times. It's a place of danger due to the abusive environment it had been in in the past or is currently still in. It's a place of chaos, as no one seems to be in charge or knows what is happening nor when the next meal may be.

I'm not sure where you stand on this. But for me, family has been the closest thing to me. Family has been the ones that built me into who I am today. They're the ones that supported me in my dreams and callings in life, whether it made sense or not. They're the ones that believed in me.

But the thing is, family doesn't just include those that are biologically related to me. I have found that family extends further. It extends to those that have come into the inner circle of my life. The ones that have been there and seen me at the worst and at the best. The ones that have been there to correct me and to support me. The ones that have been like a father or mother away from home or the brother or sister that I don't have. The ones that have been a part of my life and have intertwined theirs with mine.

Where am I getting with all this? I'm laying the groundwork for why family is important to me and why it may be for you too. Why as I move on in life, I want to be there for my family, those that have been closest to me, those that have been there for me, those that have invested in me. These are my immediate family, my relatives, my friends and my church. They're all my family.

In order for you to be able to be there for your family, you need to let them be there for you. You need to be willing to be transparent with them. You need to be willing to allow them to correct and speak to you. And at the same time, you need to make a commitment to speak truth and love to them too, for their betterment and growth.

So that sums up why family is a conduit of my life and one of my Core Words. It is through family that I learn to live out my faith with integrity. They're the ones that sharpen me in life. They're the ones that grind away the garbage and the excess in my life. And I also want to do the same for them.

Family is the unspoken bounds of life. It's what keeps me going. It spurs me to keep going deeper in my pursuit of living with faith toward a life of integrity.

What about you? Have you found family to be one of your conduits in life?

Maybe your experience hasn't exactly been the same as mine but I'm certain there is someone that is family to you without you realising it till now.

(This is part 5 of 5 pertaining to the ideal of Core Words.)

Part 1: Defining and Knowing Yourself

Part 2: What is Integrity

Part 3: Baseline of Faith

Part 4: Family

Part 5: Duty

Core Words: Baseline of Faith

A while back I blogged about why faith was an important aspect of my life by asking the question 'Why bother?' (Catch up here) This post isn't about why faith, but about how faith forms a premise for my life. If integrity was the aim and formational ideal of life, then faith is the foundation and premise upon which life is built.

Everyone wants to be their own man or woman. We all want to be in control and be the boss of our lives. But the question is, "Are we actually in control and are we actually the boss of our own life? Or is there something else?" This is a deep introspective and reflective question. A question that goes to the core of our being. And the answer will drive a lot of who we are, what we are, and what we do.

Whether we accept it or not, we are bound to something. We are driven by something. We have a baseline set to something. We call this the framework or worldview of our being. We call this a guide to our decision-making process. We call this the drive for which we live.

Some of us are driven by a larger paycheque. Some of us are driven by the people around us, our family, our kids, our friends. We are driven to show them we have succeeded or that we are worthwhile. Some of us are driven by the accolade of success and the fame that society or a subset of society will heap on us. Some of us are driven by the quietness of our soul and we may seek to be one with nature and away from others. Everyone is driven and is working for something personal to them. This something in a sense, forms the basis and baseline of their life. Some are more noble than others and some are more selfish than others. But regardless, we are driven by something.

So the question is, "What is forming your baseline?"

For me, my baseline is faith. Faith is what drives me. I'm not talking about a vague faith or spirituality of living. I'm talking about a faith in which I have experienced change and transformation in life. A faith that I would argue is alive and living. A faith that isn't about me or myself or my will but a faith that is larger and bigger. A faith in a creator. A being that is larger, more powerful and incomprehensible by our finite human minds. A being that has set up the premise of what it means to live a good life, be a good father, be a good husband, be a part of a community and the world in which we live. A faith in which we are driven not by fear of failure or a lack of acceptance but by a reaction to a love given, a grace bestowed when not deserved. Faith is a relationship with this creator, saviour.

Faith is a radical thing to pick as a baseline for life. One of those things in life where it's less about pursuing and more about being. IA baseline that we allow to change and mold our life, to drive us and to form the premise of our operation. A baseline also changes our perspective from ultimately vying for control to handing over the wheel of life to someone else. It is in this allowance that what we build on is not something we built ourselves but something greater, something bigger.

Your baseline forms and molds you. It's the foundation upon which your life is built. The one thing that you can still hold on to when everything in life crumbles and falls apart.

So the question is, "What is your baseline? What is your foundation?" Can this foundation and baseline withstand the shocks, twists and storms of life?

My baseline has and still continues to hold and carry me through even when all else has failed. Has yours?

(This is part 5 of 5 pertaining to the ideal of Core Words.)

Part 1: Defining and Knowing Yourself

Part 2: What is Integrity

Part 3: Baseline of Faith

Part 4: Family

Part 5: Duty

Core Words: What is Integrity

Integrity. That word holds a pretty heavy punch. It's a loaded word. It's a word that most people would want as a word that describes them.

It was in 2001 when I learned this word and what it actually means. Not that I have never heard of or known of the word before, but in 2001 was when I finally got it. Finally got it through a mentor, a friend, a boss. For him, integrity is who you are and what you are when no one is looking or keeping you accountable. Integrity is your character. Integrity is who you really are and what you really are.

This definition of integrity stuck. It struck a chord with me in life. Does it really matter who you are and how you act when no one is there and no one cares? I'm not even invoking the idea of a higher power or God. Just on a very human level, does it matter? It's like asking the age-old riddle, "When a tree is cut in the middle of the forest and no one is there, does it still make a sound?" or "When there is a four way stop in the middle of the desert and you can see mile after miles of barrenness, do you still stop?"

This is integrity. When it still matters even though no one is there or holding you accountable. You are holding yourself to a higher calling and a higher road. This is integrity. You set your standard of living and you live by it. You set your mind on what to do and you do it. Your word is your action.

Integrity is one of my Core Words in life. It is in a sense the pinnacle of what I aim for.

Am I a paragon of Integrity? No, I'm a work in progress. I'm a constant change and challenge to become who I have envisioned myself to be. It's the act, the thought, and the heart of continually holding yourself higher that is important.

Is this all? No, this is but one of four parts that form the Core Words I live by. This is the pinnacle, the aim. But there is still the foundation and the two pillars that I will talk about in the coming posts.

How does this living with Integrity as a Core Word look like:

1. You do what you say, and you say what you do. (eg. If you make a promise with your wife, you keep that promise even if it hurts.)


2. You aim high in how you expect yourself to be. (eg. You submit yourself to a discipline of achieving and moving forward, not allowing yourself to have excuses in life.)


3. You allow yourself to be known by this virtue. (eg. Live a life in which people know you mean it, you're not a fake and you ain't hiding, you admit your wrongs and you fix them.)

So the question I want to leave you with is this, "Will you take up the ideal of Integrity and make it one of your Core Words in life?"

(This is part 5 of 5 pertaining to the ideal of Core Words.)

Part 1: Defining and Knowing Yourself

Part 2: What is Integrity

Part 3: Baseline of Faith

Part 4: Family

Part 5: Duty

Core Words: Defining and knowing yourself

Core Words. Core words are words that describe you, words that reflect who you are and who you want to be. They're words that resonate with your life. They're words that you build your life around. They're words that are you.

It is interesting to see through history - we find families, countries, organizations and companies that all had key words or mottos. These are their core words. In the Game of Thrones, House Stark is known for the words, "Winter is coming". These words embodied who they were, the guardians of the North. They are the shield against the evil of winter. The church in which I am the pastor at, Community Table, we have the words, "Faith, Community, Service." And when I was working at a recreation department at a Big 12 university, their motto was "Where Character Meets Competition."

These core words embody who the family is. These core words speak of the organization or entity that they represent.

So the question is, "Do you have core words for your life?"

I have four core words in my life: Integrity, Duty, Family, Faith.

These four words make up my world. Everything I do, every decision I make, is framed by these four lenses. This helps to simplify life a lot. When life is framed by the core words of your life, you start weeding out the unnecessary parts of life or the parts of life that don't add value to you and those around you.

This is the first in a 5-part series focusing on core words and how they impact and provide a field of operation for me. I invite you to be a part of that journey in seeing how having core words can help you simplify life and start focusing on those things that matter most to you. For me, I know it has.

So I leave you with this challenge:

What are your core words?

(This is part 5 of 5 pertaining to the ideal of Core Words.)

Part 1: Defining and Knowing Yourself

Part 2: What is Integrity

Part 3: Baseline of Faith

Part 4: Family

Part 5: Duty

Family camping, packing it right

Previously I wrote about some lessons learned and fun things to do while camping with the family (here). This time we are going to go over some tips on what to pack and how to pack. Sometimes how and what you pack or don't pack can make a great trip a less enjoyable one.

Personally, I have driven and camped with everything from a small '96 Mitsubishi Galant to a large '92 Dodge Caravan to my current '09 Subaru Forester. All of these vehicles allow for various amounts of stuff which heavily dictates where I am able to go. Most families I know generally have a mini-van or a SUV/crossover and this is where I will be making certain assumptions on what and how to pack.

What to bring (the essentials):

1. Food. Food is absolutely important. And making sure you have a cooler that is sufficient in keeping everything cold or frozen is essential. My family uses a Coleman cooler that is rated for 5 days. Take the rating with a grain of salt. But regardless, have a good cooler that fits your need.


2. Clothes. Dress for the weather. Summer tends to be pretty warm or down right hot in the day but come nightfall it can cool down pretty quickly, especially if you are in mountain country.


3. Sleeping bag and mattress. For mattress, we prefer air, they get the job done. It's relatively comfortable, compact to pack and provides sufficient insulation from the chill coming off the ground. As for sleeping bag, theWife and I prefer down. They pack small and provide lots of warmth. However, for the kids, we prefer to give them synthetics. That way, they are quick to dry in case there is an accident at night and also easily washable when we get home.


4. Tent. A shelter over your head is one of the most important things when camping. And having it appropriately weather-proof for your climate is an absolute. If you are in a dry and hot place, make sure it has sufficient air flow and circulation. If you are in a damp and humid place, make sure it has sufficient mesh for the moisture to exit and not create condensation within. And if you live in a wet and rainy climate like I do, get one that is going to keep you dry. Most of the time, you get what you pay for. And last thing, make sure it's big enough for your family to move and navigate and be comfortable in. Meaning, for my family of four, we have a six person tent.


5. Cooking things. This would include utensils to eat with, your plates and such. Bring what you need. Just make sure it isn't too easy to break. I generally prefer plastic or metal but that is a matter of preference. As for what to cook with, I highly recommend the Coleman combo unit. It has a BBQ to grill and also a stove to cook and boil your food. This saves you from needing to bring both a BBQ unit and a stove unit. Saving on space is always good. For fuel, I have done both the one-pound propane unit and also the regular 20lb propane tank. My preference is the 20lb. It's refillable, cheaper and you don't have to worry about running out.


6. Light. Gotta have light. For the kids, I give them the IKEA hand-crank unit, they are LED and sufficiently bright and battery-free. As for myself, I like to bring both a headlamp for the times you need hands-free lighting, a lamp to hang inside the tent and also a hand unit with a 100+ lumen rating to see with. I can't stress how important having a light is, especially if the kids need to make a trip for nature's call at night.


7. Power source. This is probably the most controversial one. I'm not saying power source in the sense to power your portable video gaming devices and media devices. I'm talking about a source of power to keep your cellphone running. Cellphone, especially smartphones, have come to replace our line of contact in case of emergency, it generally has a flashlight, and it's also a source of knowing where you are, AKA the GPS. I would say keeping that phone of yours powered is essential nowadays, not so you can play games or watch videos or listen to music but rather as a way to contact the world and get yourself out of a pickle when you are lost or in an emergency.

What to bring (the fun stuff):

1. Food! You can never have enough snacks and s'mores. Always bring more than you think you need. But try to keep it healthy too. Don't want the kids to start getting a bad habit with junk food.


2. Games. Board games and card games are a staple for camping. Bring what your family will like. Although, I would caution against anything with small pieces. Those buggers are hard to find when it gets dark.


3. Bikes. There is nothing like cruising through the woods and mountain on a bike. Or at least I can think of very little. The kids love it and they can spend all day on it.


4. Bring a soccer ball or football. Play a friendly match with your camping neighbors or just as a family. Nothing like sport and competition to bring the family together and to make some new friends.

Now comes the question of how do I get all my crap into the car. It is a common question many of us have. But I would say the answer is dependent on your car and what you are bringing aside from the essentials. It's very personal topic but I will try my best to give some pointers and tips on how I have done it. As a note, I am used to packing light due to my old backcountry backpacking days and from packing to hunt, which would be light, functional and minimalistic. Anyhow on to the tips and pointers.

How to pack it all:

1. The Primary: start with the big and heavy. The big and heavy forms the foundation of my packing. It stays on the bottom and near the back. I try to keep the weight as low to the bottom of the car as possible. In this case, for me, it would be the cooler with the bulk of the food, the tent and propane tank (if I opt for the large 20lb tank) and also anything that comes in a box.


2. The Secondary: These are things that are semi-stuffable and stuff that fit well around and between stuff. This would be the rest of my food and my duffle bag/packs for clothes along with the sleeping bag. The food will generally have their own small bags (I prefer the fabric type). However, a freebie tip here is that if you want snacks for the ride, stick them in the front with you, the kids will love you.


3. The Auxiliary: These are all the fun stuff or the non-essentials for camp. Place these wherever you have room in the car and trunk.

Tips on organization:

1. Place everything in bags or boxes. The last thing you want is to have things littered everywhere and you having no idea where it is. Also boxes and bags are easy to get in and out.


2. Be consistent. What I mean by this is to pack the same way you do all the time. Create a system for what you are doing and how you are doing it. A systems helps. It allows for you to focus on the trip and also on what you may be missing.

I hope this covers most of the fundamentals of camping and packing it right for the family. In essence, go have fun and spend some time together as a family outside. The take-away is to make a system that works for you with the things that you need to make it all fun.

What tips and systems do you and your family have? Would love to hear from you.

Summer family camping fun

Camping. Time in nature. Man, those are things I love. Those are things I grew up with in the 80s. Running through the woods without a care in the world. Roasting marshmallows over a wood fire. Sleeping in a tent. Those were the days growing up.

And that is the hobby and life that I wanted to pass down to the kids. Both theWife and I are pretty big campers. We have car camped and we have backpacked, and I have done mountain backpacking hunts. In essence, camping and the woods are elements of what makes me run.

We have camped in prior years with the kids. With the LittleBoy, we started him off a little before his first birthday. We went out for a one night trip. However, the next time we camped wasn't until the LittleGirl was almost one and the LittleBoy almost four. We camped for a night in our backyard. And then we went on a longer four day, three night trip with our parenting group. (More about this group in another post)

This year was the first time that both kids got to experience more of what camping is and it was great. We were able to go on three separate trips, each being four days and three nights, with one of them with the parenting group that we're a part of.

In the course of these three trips we learned some lessons. And we learned some ways to have fun that I would love to share with you.

On with the lessons:

1. Always write down anything you may need. Yes, we had a list but we took some things for granted and didn't bother to write them down. And guess what? We left them at home.


2. Plan for a variety of weather. We live on the West Coast of Canada, a place where weather is unpredictable and generally wet. It can get wet fast and camping wet ain't very fun.


3. Bring more snacks. I can't emphasize this enough. Kids love to snack and eat. And they tend to snack and eat more when they are out and about and being active little munchkins.


4. Just relax. No really, you really do just need to relax. You are on vacation. You really should just sit back and let the kids run wild in the camp.

Fun things to do that we want to share with you:

1. Bring your bikes. There is nothing more fun than just riding around the whole day. Cause you have a lot to explore.


2. Go on a hike. Pick a trail that is simple and easy for the whole family and just go. Best to pick a place you don't know, that way it's an adventure and experience.


3. Try Geocaching. There is always excitement when it come to scavenger hunts.


4. Make some s'mores. Yea, this one is a classic but it's a much loved classic.


5. Just run around in the woods. You never know what you may find and discover in the woods. Just make sure you know how to get back to camp or at least the kids know how far is too far to explore.

Hope this gives you some ideas and directions as you start dreaming of family camping trips. Also, stay tuned as I will be posting more about family and camping and how to pull it all off smoothly.

Our first sensory friendly movie experience

A couple weeks back, I realized that we had some movie vouchers coming up to their expiration. Watching movies as a couple was never really a big thing for theWife and I, although I do love watching a good movie every so often. Either way, with two young kiddos we have always struggled to make our way to the theatre. To make matters more complicated, the Little Boy has a huge fear of watching movies (can read here to catch up on possible reasons).

Even when we are at home, the Little Boy would either run away in fear, break down or have some other similar traumatic experience when we attempt to watch a movie. With this in mind, we generally just avoided TV and movies in general.

However, with the vouchers expiring, theWife and I decided that maybe if we brought the kids to the theatre, it would be a slightly better experience. So we searched the listing for possible films. We found that Cineplex has a special program every other month catering to people or families suffering from sensory sensitivity or autism. This was a special pilot program in partnership with Autism Speaks Canada. (More info here)

In learning about this program, we jumped on it. We hyped it up with the kids that we are off to see a special show. The Little Boy didn't seem to figure out it was a movie until part way through.

So how was the experience? Personally, I didn't feel it was much different than a normal theatre experience. I was expecting the lights to be dimmed but instead it was off as normal. However, I did feel that they toned down the speaker volume, which is good. Overall, I think the best part about the experience was the fact that there were no lines, no hustle and bustle of a normal theatre, translating to a smoother experience for the kids who may otherwise have been overwhelmed. Also, during the movie, it was comforting knowing that talking and kids' noises are tolerated and allowed. It was awesome being able to talk throughout the movie with the Little Boy and explain to him what is happening on the screen and calm any fears he may have.

Overall, it was an enjoyable experience. I think it is a great way for families to have a more casual viewing experience, akin to a home theatre. It is an excellent place to ease in anyone that may be uncomfortable with crowded and busy places, as theatres are prone to be. And it is awesome to see the staff so friendly to people with life challenges that are a bit different and willing to make accommodations. Hopefully this pilot program will continue and it will be rolled out to more theatres.

Project 333: 3 Months - End of Cycle Update

I have now completed a whole 3-month cycle with the Project 333 Challenge. It was an interesting journey of downsizing my wardrobe to only 33 pieces of clothes, notwithstanding underwear, socks, sleeping and sporting-only gear. You can follow along with my journey from these prior posts: The Beginning, Week 1 Update & Week 3 Update.

It has been an educational experience in that it shows me I don't actually need that many clothes. To be honest, I can't even remember most of my other clothes that I had put into storage. This brings to mind that often times we just end up getting more and more then hoarding it.

That isn't to say this wasn't also a challenging experience. With the premise of Project 333 as having only 33 pieces of clothes for 3 months, I learned that I need a bit more thoughtfulness on what those pieces should be. Running out of a certain type of clothes is a very real experience that has challenged me to be more forward thinking in terms of weather and activities throughout the week and taking stock of what I currently have.

Will I be continuing on this Project 333 challenge? Of course. I will be continuing on with the present set of clothes till the end of the summer season, then align my Project 333 closet with seasonal changes.

So the take-aways from this experience:

1. I don't need that many clothes in life and life is a lot more simple when you have fewer pieces to pick from in the morning.


2. In order for the simplicity of having less to pick from in the morning to work well, you need to plan ahead in life. Dressing becomes more of an intentional activity in life and less of a throw-it-on-and-go.


3. With less clothes comes the possibility of freeing up more space in the house and having less clutter.


4. Although having less is great, it means more frequent loads of laundry. But at least the folding part becomes a bit quicker and the machine is less likely to be overloaded.

Overall, I think Project 333 is a definite recommendation for anyone looking to simplify life and being more intentional in how they live.

To those struggling families

A couple weeks back while I was playing on the sideline of a soccer field with the LittleGirl during the LittleBoy's summer soccer camp, I overheard a conversation between a mom and a grandma of two kids. To be honest, I am kind of a nosy person at times and have a habit and tendency to eavesdrop on conversations. This goes back to my undergraduate training in anthropology and how often times the art of observation and eavesdropping produces the best social and cultural research that direct interview and questions couldn't produce. Yes, it is a bad habit but it is a useful one at times.

Anyhow, the conversation that I overheard jumped all over the place but there was one thing that did stand out to me and tugged at my heart string and I couldn't let it go.

The conversation was centered around some dialogues that the mom had with her daughter. It was about their inability to have a pet in the apartment in which they were living. However, the crux of the conversation was not so much about the ability to have a pet or not but rather on their housing situation. The daughter, apparently has been constantly asking the mom about when they would be able to move and have a different home that would allow for a pet. This all seems pretty normal for a kid around four or five years old.

However, the breaking of the heart comes from the response that the mom had to give to the daughter. It was the fact that they can't find anything else they can afford. It wasn't because the mom didn't want to give her daughter a pet but rather it was a matter of their living and life condition. This is sad. The inability for a parent to make their kids happy and continually create a sense of let-down in life.

It's not because the mom wanted to say no or she wanted to deny the daughter. It's just life. Life is not fair. And society is not fair.

This got me thinking about the injustice of the world especially to families that are struggling. Often times society paints a picture of those struggling as having not worked as hard or that they deserve it. But the fact of the matter is, more often than not, these families do not deserve it. They are hard-working families, often times with multiple jobs and working long hours to provide food on the table and a roof over their heads. These families are struggling not because they want to but just because they are and society has been set up in a way that doesn't favor them.

When you think about it, society is a fabric of families and people. When an individual is hurting and struggling, it will affect the family. And when families are struggling, they will affect society as a whole. Often times, we just ignore the parts that seem unsightly and focus on the positive. But the reality is that a lot of families are suffering. Maybe not economically. But maybe relationally or emotionally or even just being able to have time together. When families suffer, so does society. Families build society.

What can we do?

1. We can learn to have compassion for those less fortunate than us. We can give a little of what we have to give a boost in someone else's life and family.


2. We can learn to connect with our neighbors and hear their stories, especially those that are a bit different from us or don't fit the mold of who we are friends with.


3. We can join and volunteer with groups and non-profits that specialize in helping build up families and societies. (shameless plug: I have been volunteering with United Way, they are a great example of an organization that try to help enrich and give value back to society.)


4. We can help champion and support social justice issues within the circles that we have influence (eg. friends, work, clubs, etc.)

And most importantly, when we do these things, our children will see it and they will learn the value of other individuals, they will learn to love their neighbors. Remember, helping to build up families will build up society. Be the change and start with what is around you.

Regulating life with the Fitbit Charge HR

For Christmas of 2016, I got a little gift for myself. A fitness tracker. It wasn't because I believed it would change my habit of getting off the couch more or the fact that I'm not moving enough. I know all these already.

The reason I got the fitness tracker was because it was free. I had collected enough loyalty points to redeem it. And to be honest I have been curious about what all the rage was about. So I traded in my points and redeemed myself a Fitbit Charge HR.

I will have to confess, I wasn't particularly interested in moving more. But I am a data junkie. A data junkie in the sense of hitting those optimal numbers and seeing how to improve myself. Now I have a method of actual quantification that doesn't require manual data keeping or entry (which often boils down to guesswork and half-truth).

Here's a machine that once strapped to my wrist will tell me all the stats I need. My heart rate, my sleep cycle and amount of sleep, the number of steps I took, how hard I actually worked out. It's a marvel in technological innovation for nothing more than a self-glorified self-quantification device. And it was glorious indeed.

[embed]https://youtu.be/A7Y3kUl0N2Q[/embed]
Over the course of the last half year I have learned some interesting things about myself with this Fitbit Charge HR. I wasn't actually as lazy as I thought I was. I required at least 7 hours of sleep to function. And apparently my heart rate spikes when I am under the weather or about to get sick.

This isn't to say that the core function of tracking my fitness was not useful. It was. I have been able to let it automatically track the intensity of my jogging and of my home body-weight workouts. Especially with the latter. I am now able to not just feel the burn but also quantify it with the fact that my heart rate has risen accordingly. Or conversely when I have been too lax with the intensity of my workout and thus need to push it up a notch. There is no hiding anymore.

But for me, the main takeaway from this device was the heart rate monitor. The monitor has been able to log and pick up on situations where I have been stressed or when emotions have been running high. It has been able to pick up on whether I was coming down with a cold. Although unfortunately, the device does not inform of these things ahead of time, it does allow me to check the history or and to check it real time while in the situation with a quick tap on the device. This has allowed me to step back from situations before they escalated and also allowed me to take preventive care prior to getting sick.

The last function that I have been pretty dependent on is the silent vibrating alarm on the Charge HR. It has been a key way for me to wake up in the morning now without waking up theWife or the Little Girl (that may have made her way into our bed). I found the gentle buzzing of my arm has been enough to wake me out of deep sleep without the noise associated with a normal alarm and this has been a plus for everyone.

Overall, the Fitbit Charge HR has been a keeper for me. It may not have revolutionized the way I live life but it did help me regulate it and help me maintain productivity in a core way by keeping a log of and watching over my body.

What about you? How have you been using a fitness tracker in your life? Got any tips to share?

Look out for a post on my review and thoughts of the Misfit Flash for helping to regulate life in the near future.

*feature photo and youtube belongs to Fitbit.com

Regulating life with the Fitbit Charge HR

For Christmas of 2016, I got a little gift for myself. A fitness tracker. It wasn't because I believed it would change my habit of getting off the couch more or the fact that I'm not moving enough. I know all these already.

The reason I got the fitness tracker was because it was free. I had collected enough loyalty points to redeem it. And to be honest I have been curious about what all the rage was about. So I traded in my points and redeemed myself a Fitbit Charge HR.

I will have to confess, I wasn't particularly interested in moving more. But I am a data junkie. A data junkie in the sense of hitting those optimal numbers and seeing how to improve myself. Now I have a method of actual quantification that doesn't require manual data keeping or entry (which often boils down to guesswork and half-truth).

Here's a machine that once strapped to my wrist will tell me all the stats I need. My heart rate, my sleep cycle and amount of sleep, the number of steps I took, how hard I actually worked out. It's a marvel in technological innovation for nothing more than a self-glorified self-quantification device. And it was glorious indeed.

Over the course of the last half year I have learned some interesting things about myself with this Fitbit Charge HR. I wasn't actually as lazy as I thought I was. I required at least 7 hours of sleep to function. And apparently my heart rate spikes when I am under the weather or about to get sick.

This isn't to say that the core function of tracking my fitness was not useful. It was. I have been able to let it automatically track the intensity of my jogging and of my home body-weight workouts. Especially with the latter. I am now able to not just feel the burn but also quantify it with the fact that my heart rate has risen accordingly. Or conversely when I have been too lax with the intensity of my workout and thus need to push it up a notch. There is no hiding anymore.

But for me, the main takeaway from this device was the heart rate monitor. The monitor has been able to log and pick up on situations where I have been stressed or when emotions have been running high. It has been able to pick up on whether I was coming down with a cold. Although unfortunately, the device does not inform of these things ahead of time, it does allow me to check the history or and to check it real time while in the situation with a quick tap on the device. This has allowed me to step back from situations before they escalated and also allowed me to take preventive care prior to getting sick.

The last function that I have been pretty dependent on is the silent vibrating alarm on the Charge HR. It has been a key way for me to wake up in the morning now without waking up theWife or the Little Girl (that may have made her way into our bed). I found the gentle buzzing of my arm has been enough to wake me out of deep sleep without the noise associated with a normal alarm and this has been a plus for everyone.

Overall, the Fitbit Charge HR has been a keeper for me. It may not have revolutionized the way I live life but it did help me regulate it and help me maintain productivity in a core way by keeping a log of and watching over my body.

What about you? How have you been using a fitness tracker in your life? Got any tips to share?

Look out for a post on my review and thoughts of the Misfit Flash for helping to regulate life in the near future.

Happy Birthday to a Sensitive, Borderline-Autistic Boy

Has it really been five years? Man, time flies. I still remember the day you came, a screaming angry red little baby in the hospital. I remember the day when I first met you and felt overwhelmed with what is to come. You changed everything.

Since that day five years ago, life was never the same. The house was never the same. How I scheduled and prioritized tasks was never the same. It was a start of a journey, a journey called parenthood and fatherhood.

I had aspirations for what I wanted you to be. I had dreams of what I wanted to show you. I wanted you to have all the opportunities that I had and those that I didn't. I wanted you to become the man I am, the man that I haven't become and the man that you will become as an individual.

Five years seems like such a short time. Yet, five years has been a long journey. From the beginning when you came home, it was a constant struggle of trying to figure out how to be the best parent for you. From the beginning we felt we were inadequate in our abilities to raise you. From the beginning we gave you to God and trusted that He would bring you up and we would just be a part of it in the earthly realm.

During these five years, you have taught us patience, you have taught us priority, you have taught us to slow down in life, you have taught us to pray and depend on God to get through the day, you have taught us what it means to be sensitive.

You are a sensitive child. You were a baby that lagged a bit behind in growth and was even considered to be borderline Aspergers, depending on whether you base the diagnosis on the old or new criteria for ASD. But it was all in God's own timing. It was not about our dreams and desires for you, so much as what God has planned for you and made you to be. We learned to love you for who you are. We learned to be patient and let you grow at your own speed. We learned to reorient what we thought mattered for something that mattered more.

You taught us what it meant to be sensitive to your thoughts and feelings. You helped us navigate the struggle of learning to listen to you when you are not calm and doing everything we don't want you to do. You taught us that it was alright for a boy to cry and to be in tune with his inner self.

In essence, you have shown us a simplified life that does not care too much about what people thought or wanted. You have shown us a side to humanity that is often overlooked and viewed as a weakness. You have been a window to the human soul for us. And ultimately you have been a window into our own humanity and lack of perfection.

Life with you has been a rollercoaster. As with all rollercoasters, there has been its ups and its downs. Sometimes it's in the heat of your tantrum that I learn it's alright to let go and move on. Sometimes it's in your sensitivity and your crying that I realize the brutality of the demands of life. Sometimes it's in your innocent and repetitive questions that I learn it's OK not to have all the answers. And sometimes it's in your imagination or lack thereof that I learn there is a fine line between what is real and what is not.

Five years is not a long time but it feels like it has been a long time. Five years is just the tip of the iceberg and the beginning of your life. Here is where the journey will continue, a continual lesson of living, loving and accepting.

You, my boy, are now five. Five years into your childhood and development. And I had five years to be a better father, I hope. I may not be the father that you wish for but I hope to one day be the father you can be proud of being a son to.

Passing the Torch

Passing the torch? Have any of you ever ran a relay race? I remember when I was in high school, I was on the track team and relay was one of the events I trained for. I never had the endurance of a long distance running nor did I have the explosive sprint of a short distance runner, but the relay was something I could do. I ran my leg and passed the baton to the next. I just had to make sure I didn't drop it or trip over. Essentially my goal for the whole race was to maintain my position in the race and possibly overtake a competitor but it wasn't as stressful cause I knew for a fact that one of my teammates is gonna carry the team for the last leg cause he has that explosive ability.

Relay was easy. Life wasn't so much. Sometimes you can train for life but more often than not life trains you. Often times I find myself running a race not knowing where I'm running to. And sometimes I slow to a trot or even a crawl. But more often than not, I'm sprinting ahead cause of fear. What are we running for? What are we even going to pass on to the next generation?

Mankind, He has told you what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you: to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8 HCSB http://bible.com/72/mic.6.8.HCSB

Thinking about it, I think the fog comes from the unknown. When you don't know what you are running for and why you are running, you don't have a reason or the motivation to run. For me, in the past decade, it has come down to this: acting justly, loving faithfulness and walking humbly.

Act justly: What is justice? What does it mean to do right even in the face of injustice? What is it to walk even when it hurts?

Love faithfulness: What does it mean to be faithful? What does it mean to have integrity? What is it to you and me to keep our words?

Walk humbly: How can we go about continually learning? How can we go about knowing that there is something greater than us? How do we go about knowing the world does not rest upon our shoulders?

And it is these traits, these guidestones that I want to pass on to my kids. I want them growing up knowing what it means to be just, what it means to be faithful and how to be humble. I know I am a work in progress. But at least I have the baton and the purpose of running. And it is this baton that I hope to pass on to them one day.

What about you? What are you hoping to pass on to your kids or to the next generation? What are you running for?

What Would the Kids Do?

What Would the Kids Do? (Yes, this is a play on the WWJD, What Would Jesus Do?) Have you ever asked yourself that? It wasn't till recently that it popped in my head.

Over the course of the last few years, theWife and I have been trying to figure out how to parent our kids, in particular the older one. He's a bit more of a stubborn one with a lot what we call behavioral issues. But boys being boys, it may be more of a phase in life than an actual behavioral issue. However, it got me thinking as how or more like what we can do to elicit help him learn the behavior that we wanted.

What popped in my head was "What Would the Kids Do?" At first it made no sense but the more I thought about it, the more sense it actually made. I refocused my thoughts on what I wanted the kids to do to what they would naturally do. And I think that is everything. In asking this, I started to think of how they act and what the premise was.

I started to notice a trend, that it all comes back to theWife and I. We were in a sense exhibiting some of these same behaviors. The issue at hand was really a "monkey see, monkey do" type of thing, except as opposed to just copying, they were exaggerating it and playing it off in a different way. So what was a minor idiosyncrasy is now a behavioral issue.

And in realizing this, I found a few things that I needed to work in my life.

1. Think before you say or act - this is easier said than done but it will save a lot of headache in the future. Every little overreacting or nonreacting we give them will be copied and multiplied.

2. Don't do or say something just cause the kids aren't physically present - this got more to do with habit. You are you when no one else is looking. And this you will come out under stress or when you least notice it. And kids catch on quick.

3. Be patient with the kids - after all they are still learning and imitation is the best learning. Essentially, they don't know what they're doing, they just know what they're copying.

4. Be willing to change and to point it out for the kids - let the kids know we were wrong and we are working on change. Let them be your helper in keeping you accountable.

What about all of you? Have any of you come to the same realization? How have you handled it?

I got the power! As in Powerline Network

Cables. I don't know about you but at one point in time I had them everywhere. This was in the days when WiFi was not as prominent and wired network was still the main way to get stuff done. I would have wires hanging on the edge of the wall and ceiling and over door frames. It was a mess. I remember when The Wife and I first got married, we had an ADSL modem from AT&T hanging on the wall along with a wireless router not too far off. It was all on the wall. I even had a friend come over and comment that I seemed to have a bomb mapped out on the wall. It was a mess.

The advent of WiFi saved the wires quite a bit and I was able to essentially get all my computers, phone and tablets connected. However, this all went out the window when I found that WiFi wasn't getting the speed I needed to stream media on the Roku media box. So a wired solution was needed again. But the problem is that I live in a two story house now, with the modem/router being upstairs and the TV/Roku being downstairs. There was no way I was going to have cables snaking through the house with two toddlers on the loose.

I needed another solution. Originally I started off with a more complex solution of using an extra wireless router that I had sitting around as a bridge point to bring the cable to the media room. But it wasn't elegant and I still encountered the WiFi issue. So on to looking for another solution. My in-laws of all people suggested that I should try out the powerline LAN adapters as a possible solution. And to get me on the right path, my over zealous father-in-law already bought four extra adapters that he wasn't using at home as he only needed two and found them good enough for him. So I now have four of these things to play with, from two different brands.

I'm not sure where everyone is with their network or wireless vs wired solutions either at home or in the office. But for me, I needed a consistent and stable speed for both the streaming media box and also our file and media server. And with the way the house is, these two things are not always able to be near the router/modem at the same time. For the rest of my devices, WiFi does fine enough. So for me, the powerline LAN adapter is fully for solving the issue of creating network without the need for wires galore and still maintain a faster speed and stable network than WiFi may provide otherwise.

So on to the solution. I was gifted by my father-in-law with a set of TrendNet 500Mbps Compact Powering AV Adapter Kit (TPL-406E2K) and also a Tenda 200Mbps Powering Mini Adapter kit (P200). Being the typical guy, I did not read instructions and decided to just do the plug and play pray option. Surprisingly, it worked right out of the box for me. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be this way or if my father-in-law already set it all up for me (but I doubt it, he is very tech illiterate). And surprisingly, despite the fact that the two sets were of different brands, they were able to work together. It just works.

But the question is, as always, how well does it work. I will say straight up, the speed on these things are good and consistent. However, the issue arises with heat.

The Tenda units tend to overheat easily and just stop working. A quick unplugging and replugging does the trick but can be annoying since it can happen anytime. I have gone for as short as 15 minutes to as long as two days. So it's not what I call a reliable source of plug-it-in and leave-it-be type of tech.

The TrendNet units functioned a lot better. It seemed to have been susceptible to heat only once when we experienced a heat wave and the room in which it was located rose to a blistering 29C/84F. Aside from that one fateful day, the units have been humming along great with no slowdown or hiccups.

Overall, the idea of running your network over your powerline is a pretty decent idea. It gets the job done. It minimizes the mess of wires in the house. It provides a more secure environment compared to WiFi. I would say it is a good mixture of helping to minimize and simplify your house and technology and also allow for better organization of your devices.

I would definitely recommend it to family and friends. However, I would also caution on buying too cheap of a unit as it seems like they are susceptible to heat failure.

What about you? How have you managed to organize the mess that comes with a more digital lifestyle that requires multiple devices? What is your experience with various solutions? Would love to hear about what you have been doing.

Why Faith?

I get this question a lot of times, and I would say, I have asked this question myself. And I actually challenge people to ask this of themselves. Why Faith? Why believe in anything? Or better yet, the question is why do you believe in what you believe?

I would say for me it has been a journey of life up to this point and it has consistently pointed me toward something greater. I'm not sure about you, nor would I want to make an assumption on your behalf, but I do know that we are all working through life looking for purpose and for meaning.

For me this has consistently been found in what I would term as faith. Faith is not the same as religion. Faith is not the idea of ethical or moral standards. Rather, faith has been for me a coming to terms that I can't do it alone and I need someone or something greater, someone or something beyond this life. For me, it was at the pit of life, it was at the darkest point when things seemingly aren't working. It was at a point where I questioned everything that I had been working for. It was in a state where I found myself spiralling downward into a darkness of the mind and soul.

It was in this darkness and pit that I found faith.

It was here that I found that I am only human. And as great as our human-race has been in advancing civilization and technology, it has seemingly never answered the deepest question of the soul, that of why we exist, or more specifically why I exist. It was in this pit that I found faith, an answer to this deep question. Does it answer all other questions? Not directly but it does speak toward them and forms a premise, a foundation, a framework to understand, explore and work with.

Faith for me is a relationship. A relationship with a creator, a God, a father. It is with an entity that is beyond me but one that loves me, one that wishes the best for me in life, one that guides me for my growth and my benefit, One that leads me upon the journey and path of life.

It is the idea that you are not alone anymore. You are carried. You are guided. You are overseen.

Faith brought this all for me. When you look at the definition of faith in the dictionary, it's the idea of believing in something that is not based on proof, it's the idea of placing trust or confidence on something. I can't prove that God exists or that God has a particular interest in us. But what I can say is that I have experienced it in my life and one can't say what I experienced is false or faked. Just like I trust that your experience in life is just that.

I have experienced what faith can do and where faith has brought me. And for me that is enough. That is what faith is.

What about you? What is your story and thoughts on faith?

This is what the Lord , your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel says: I am Yahweh your God, who teaches you for your benefit, who leads you in the way you should go. Isaiah 48:17 HCSB http://bible.com/72/isa.48.17.HCSB

Monthly Collection: June 2016

Articles that I have been reading this past month and found it to be profoundly helpful, thoughtful or challenging and want to share it with you.

Experts unveil new sleep guidelines for childern - CBC
http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/health/children-sleep-guidelines-infants-teenagers-1.3633188

Why some people find urban crowded cities relaxing - and others don't - Tanya Basu
http://www.citylab.com/navigator/2016/05/why-some-people-find-urban-hustle-invigorating/484412/

Building home kids want to come home to - Hayley Novak
http://kindredgrace.com/building-home-kids-want-to-come-home-to/

Signposts: How I do my personal devotions - Russell Moore
http://www.russellmoore.com/2016/04/29/signposts-how-i-do-my-personal-devotions/#51782

Taking aim at worship: Why we need to re-orient our worship - Cassie Curtis
http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2016/may/taking-aim-at-worship.html?paging=off

Future of the church appears grim - Barb Draper
http://www.canadianmennonite.org/stories/future-church-appears-grim

Why we need more entrepreneurial church leaders, not more shepherds - Carey Nieuwhof
http://careynieuwhof.com/2014/03/why-we-need-more-entrepreneurial-church-leaders-not-more-shepherds/

What the latest Bible research reveals about Millennials - Sarah Eekhoff Zyistra
http://www.christianitytoday.com/gleanings/2016/may/what-latest-bible-research-reveals-about-millennials.html/#61122