Taking time out

Taking some time out and away from it all. Don't we all dream about this? I'm not talking about just a vacation or a trip. I'm talking about taking some time out and walking away from life.

Why walk away from life? Life is always moving and going. Life doesn't ever take a break. So the question and often the guilt is 'Can I afford to just walk away?'

And my answer for you is yes, you absolutely need to take a step away from life every so often and you can't afford not to. You can't afford to keep going. You can't afford to keep up with the race and pace of life. You must stop, drop and walk.

So why am I such a strong advocate for this? Because when we keep going and running, we often lose sight of what we are doing and why we are doing it. Or for some, we become so absorbed in what we are doing that we haven't taken the time to see what we have done. We need to step back and reassess. Reassess what we are doing. Reassess where we are going. Reassess if it is worth it. Reassess how and what we need to change to realign ourselves.

 

So what have I gotten from taking these 'steps back' and 'time outs' in life? I have gained clarity. I have gained a healthier psyche and spirituality in life. I have gained more energy to pursue what I feel called to do. I have been able to improve the relationships around me.

Without the step back, you wouldn't know what is wrong. Without the step back, you wouldn't know what it is that is great and central in your life.

So my challenge for you is this, take an intentional step back and intentionally schedule it in your life. How do I do this?

1. Schedule in your time away. Set aside the time on your calendar. Doesn't have to be long, but enough for you to focus and refocus.


2. Inform those closest around you why you are doing this and what it is for.


3. Use that time to contemplate and reflect. Use it to meditate and pray.


4. Write/Draw. Have a log/journal and write or doodle out your thoughts. It isn't so much for you to read but for you to just release your brain and its burdens.


5. Lastly, take what you have learned about yourself and the renewed energy you gained and put them toward the things that matter in life, your family, yourself and your calling.

This is what some call taking a Sabbath or a Sabbatical. You need it.

Core Words: Duty

This is the last of the series on Core Words, knowing and understanding yourself in order to define what is important in your life and reframing your life around those things. The last topic to cover is the last pillar or conduit. For me it's the word "Duty."

There's a foundation from which everything in life stems and a goal towards which you aim in everything you do. Family is a place where you learn and grow in these two aspects. The other parallel is duty. Duty is a big word with different meanings for different people. And if you were to throw a stone at any one person on the street and ask them to define duty, they will probably have a different answer for you.

Duty for me is two fold. It's what you do in life, as in your profession, your calling, or whatever else you busy your time with during your waking hours. And it's the obligations of life. Here we will explore both and how they are interrelated.

First off is your profession and/or calling or just what you do. This is your job and work, either what you get paid to do or what you have decided to do because you have a passion for it. This is probably the next heaviest use of your time in life, aside from family. This is probably the place where you spend most of your energy and waking hours. This is the place where if you were intentional in what you're doing, you can make an impact on the lives of those around you, those you work with or those you serve in your work. Work is often viewed as just a way to pay the bill, and this isn't wrong, but work can be so much more if you take it intentionally as a place where you can make an impact on the world around us.

Think about it. Whether you are the cashier at a big box store or the executive of a multi-million dollar enterprise, you will interact with people. Your attitude at your position and how you interact with those around you will say much about what is grounding your life and what you are aiming for. For the cashier that is more likely than not making minimum wage and probably not fully making ends meet in life, this job can be a get-it-done-to-get-the-cash-and-move-on or it can be a platform in making the lives of those that spend those couple minutes with you at the checkout a nightmare or a paradise in shopping. When you are aiming for excellence, your attitude and your ethics will reflect it. The people that come to you will see a difference that you ain't working just for the cash but rather you are also working to make this essential part of life better. And if you are the executive? Yeah, you have power, prestige and worth, in the world's eyes, but how do your clients and workers view you? Do they view you as the monster of a boss that they need to gravel and kiss up to? Or are you an executive that is known to care and take care of the staff, one that wants to help build up those around you and move them on to a better place in the world? It makes a difference.

Our work place is often like a second home for most of us. Our coworkers can either be competition in a cut-throat world in the advancement of yourself. Or they can be the family away from home that is working mutually together to make the world a more humane and liveable place. A place where you can make a difference and an impact, no matter how small or isolated, is still an impact.

Moving on to duty as obligation, this is the part where duty isn't so much about what you do, but what you have committed yourself to. Yes, your work and your volunteering is a form of obligation but what I want us to delve deeper in is this idea of a deeper obligation in life. The type of obligation that you make within your heart and your mind. The type of obligation that you are willing to stake down and take a stance for.

These obligations take many forms. For some, it is the obligation that they will be there for their family no matter what. For some, it is the deep belief that is driven by their foundations of life to live a certain way or to make an intentional decision on how life is to be done. It's a heart issue. Where are you going to place your life on? What are you fighting for in life? Are you fighting for something that is worthwhile?

In pulling back and understanding the two aspects of duty, you may see why I have chosen this as one of my Core Words. Duty in what you do, how you do it and why you do it. It's the place where you live out what drives you, and the place where you practice and work toward the goal of life.

I'm not sure about you. But as we close this series on Core Words, I hope that you have been challenged to reflect upon life, on what your foundation is, your goals, and how you're going to get there. For me, my foundation is built upon faith in something greater and bigger that creates purpose and I am working toward integrity in all I do, via the means of family, the place where I have learned both and where I can practice both, and of duty, making an impact on the world in which I live.

I hope this has been an eye opener. I hope that you too would reflect and select your Core Words in life.

I would love to hear back on your thoughts, comments and what you have selected as your Core Words.

(This is part 5 of 5 pertaining to the ideal of Core Words.)

Part 1: Defining and Knowing Yourself

Part 2: What is Integrity

Part 3: Baseline of Faith

Part 4: Family

Part 5: Duty

Core Words: Family

Core Words are words that I live by. These are words that form my basic operating principles of life. We have looked at integrity as the destination and goal for everything I do. We have looked at how faith undergirds everything as the foundation and the reason for everything I do and every decision I make. So now we move on to what I call the conduits. The idea of how I move from living with faith towards having integrity in everything I do. These two conduits are family and duty. Here I want to tackle family.

Family are those that are closest to us. The ones that know us the best. The ones that see what the public doesn't see. The ones that know what the public doesn't know. Family are generally the ones we are most comfortable with. The ones we generally fall back on when the going gets tough. They are our safety.

However, for some families, the opposite of what I had just described is true. It's a place of strangers. It's a place where trust cannot be held, cause it has been broken one too many times. It's a place of danger due to the abusive environment it had been in in the past or is currently still in. It's a place of chaos, as no one seems to be in charge or knows what is happening nor when the next meal may be.

I'm not sure where you stand on this. But for me, family has been the closest thing to me. Family has been the ones that built me into who I am today. They're the ones that supported me in my dreams and callings in life, whether it made sense or not. They're the ones that believed in me.

But the thing is, family doesn't just include those that are biologically related to me. I have found that family extends further. It extends to those that have come into the inner circle of my life. The ones that have been there and seen me at the worst and at the best. The ones that have been there to correct me and to support me. The ones that have been like a father or mother away from home or the brother or sister that I don't have. The ones that have been a part of my life and have intertwined theirs with mine.

Where am I getting with all this? I'm laying the groundwork for why family is important to me and why it may be for you too. Why as I move on in life, I want to be there for my family, those that have been closest to me, those that have been there for me, those that have invested in me. These are my immediate family, my relatives, my friends and my church. They're all my family.

In order for you to be able to be there for your family, you need to let them be there for you. You need to be willing to be transparent with them. You need to be willing to allow them to correct and speak to you. And at the same time, you need to make a commitment to speak truth and love to them too, for their betterment and growth.

So that sums up why family is a conduit of my life and one of my Core Words. It is through family that I learn to live out my faith with integrity. They're the ones that sharpen me in life. They're the ones that grind away the garbage and the excess in my life. And I also want to do the same for them.

Family is the unspoken bounds of life. It's what keeps me going. It spurs me to keep going deeper in my pursuit of living with faith toward a life of integrity.

What about you? Have you found family to be one of your conduits in life?

Maybe your experience hasn't exactly been the same as mine but I'm certain there is someone that is family to you without you realising it till now.

(This is part 5 of 5 pertaining to the ideal of Core Words.)

Part 1: Defining and Knowing Yourself

Part 2: What is Integrity

Part 3: Baseline of Faith

Part 4: Family

Part 5: Duty

Core Words: Baseline of Faith

A while back I blogged about why faith was an important aspect of my life by asking the question 'Why bother?' (Catch up here) This post isn't about why faith, but about how faith forms a premise for my life. If integrity was the aim and formational ideal of life, then faith is the foundation and premise upon which life is built.

Everyone wants to be their own man or woman. We all want to be in control and be the boss of our lives. But the question is, "Are we actually in control and are we actually the boss of our own life? Or is there something else?" This is a deep introspective and reflective question. A question that goes to the core of our being. And the answer will drive a lot of who we are, what we are, and what we do.

Whether we accept it or not, we are bound to something. We are driven by something. We have a baseline set to something. We call this the framework or worldview of our being. We call this a guide to our decision-making process. We call this the drive for which we live.

Some of us are driven by a larger paycheque. Some of us are driven by the people around us, our family, our kids, our friends. We are driven to show them we have succeeded or that we are worthwhile. Some of us are driven by the accolade of success and the fame that society or a subset of society will heap on us. Some of us are driven by the quietness of our soul and we may seek to be one with nature and away from others. Everyone is driven and is working for something personal to them. This something in a sense, forms the basis and baseline of their life. Some are more noble than others and some are more selfish than others. But regardless, we are driven by something.

So the question is, "What is forming your baseline?"

For me, my baseline is faith. Faith is what drives me. I'm not talking about a vague faith or spirituality of living. I'm talking about a faith in which I have experienced change and transformation in life. A faith that I would argue is alive and living. A faith that isn't about me or myself or my will but a faith that is larger and bigger. A faith in a creator. A being that is larger, more powerful and incomprehensible by our finite human minds. A being that has set up the premise of what it means to live a good life, be a good father, be a good husband, be a part of a community and the world in which we live. A faith in which we are driven not by fear of failure or a lack of acceptance but by a reaction to a love given, a grace bestowed when not deserved. Faith is a relationship with this creator, saviour.

Faith is a radical thing to pick as a baseline for life. One of those things in life where it's less about pursuing and more about being. IA baseline that we allow to change and mold our life, to drive us and to form the premise of our operation. A baseline also changes our perspective from ultimately vying for control to handing over the wheel of life to someone else. It is in this allowance that what we build on is not something we built ourselves but something greater, something bigger.

Your baseline forms and molds you. It's the foundation upon which your life is built. The one thing that you can still hold on to when everything in life crumbles and falls apart.

So the question is, "What is your baseline? What is your foundation?" Can this foundation and baseline withstand the shocks, twists and storms of life?

My baseline has and still continues to hold and carry me through even when all else has failed. Has yours?

(This is part 5 of 5 pertaining to the ideal of Core Words.)

Part 1: Defining and Knowing Yourself

Part 2: What is Integrity

Part 3: Baseline of Faith

Part 4: Family

Part 5: Duty