Dealing with burnout

Burnout is one of those things that people talk about and people seemingly understand but when you dig deeper, no one can seem to explain what it is. If you've been following some of the new studies, there's a close relation between burnout and depression. But either case, burnout is a state in which you feel a lack of enthusiasm, lack of motivation and a drop in productivity. Whether or not this is a true condition is still being debated by the professionals.

Most people focus on the occupational aspect of burnout and it's true that this is where you will find it most often. But I want us to focus on life as a whole, meaning some of us may experience burnout or burnout-like symptoms in other aspects of our life such as being a parent, being a student or just life in general. I think thinking of it holistically is very important because life isn't just about work. Rather, work is a part of life as a whole.

Often times, the path to burnout is not so much about the work that's being done or the situations in life leading up to it but that there isn't enough rest and balance in life. Without the rest that your body, mind and soul desperately needs, you will eventually run yourself to the ground via exhaustion. Some people call this burnout, some call it running yourself into a rut and some just see it as life and that you just need to get over it. This lack of rest is a tell-tale symptom of imbalance in life. Imbalance often starts with the mis-allocation of our life's resources, our energy, or our time toward something, which then becomes overdrive and suffocates our own ability to reassess, rest and balance life.

The cost of imbalance is devastating. The fact that you are continually mis-focusing your energy, time, relationships and resources will impact your life whether you admit it or not. Or more like we are so used to it that we don't know what being healthy and balanced is anymore. It will put strains on your relationships, your family, your job and your work. It will affect your physical and mental health. It will affect your inner soul, your spirit and your spirituality.

This continuation of mis-focus or imbalance will eventually break you. Why do you think mental illness, depression and anxiety is at an all time high? It's because with the nonstop world around us, we haven't had a chance to just step back and take a break anymore, refocus and maintain balance. With the increased demand of our attention and the demand of an instantaneous response, we have forgotten how to wait, be still and just listen to the world around us.

Stepping away from it all is imperative for your health and mine. I have seen the edge of the cliff, I have seen the depth of the cliff, and I have seen it in others. Sometimes, we are so used to performing that we lose sight of what we are working toward. Other times, we have invested so much into something that we can't see anything else. And I'm not just talking about work as in occupation but also about the other aspects of life - being a parent, being a spouse, being a friend, etc. We all work toward something but when it becomes imbalanced, you walk a fine line.

You can't do any of that without taking a step back. You need it. Your family needs it from you. Your work needs it for you to perform optimally. And those around you need it from you to help maintain a healthy relationship.

Stepping back is hard. It's an intentional time. A time to take a mental break. A time to take a physical break. A time for your soul, mind and body to catch up again. What this break looks like will be different for everybody. Some just need a hobby. Some just need sleep. Some just need quiet. It is different and very personal.

But the fact of the matter is, whether you are on the road to burnout or not or whether you believe in burnout or not, you need balance in life. And balance in life is only achievable if we are intentional in what we are doing.

What does living intentionally look like?

1. Learn to say no and yes based on your priorities and abilities.


2. Learn what fuels you and what drains you. Make sure you are balanced.


3. Learn to listen to your soul and your body. Sometimes, it knows us better in terms of what we need to rebalance.


4. And most importantly for me, learn from and lean on your relationship with God and allow that to overflow to the rest of your life. With God as the source and center of your life, you can trust that you will never be depleted nor imbalanced.

An article of interest pertaining to using and finding intentional rest and space in life is HERE.

Taking time out

Taking some time out and away from it all. Don't we all dream about this? I'm not talking about just a vacation or a trip. I'm talking about taking some time out and walking away from life.

Why walk away from life? Life is always moving and going. Life doesn't ever take a break. So the question and often the guilt is 'Can I afford to just walk away?'

And my answer for you is yes, you absolutely need to take a step away from life every so often and you can't afford not to. You can't afford to keep going. You can't afford to keep up with the race and pace of life. You must stop, drop and walk.

So why am I such a strong advocate for this? Because when we keep going and running, we often lose sight of what we are doing and why we are doing it. Or for some, we become so absorbed in what we are doing that we haven't taken the time to see what we have done. We need to step back and reassess. Reassess what we are doing. Reassess where we are going. Reassess if it is worth it. Reassess how and what we need to change to realign ourselves.

 

So what have I gotten from taking these 'steps back' and 'time outs' in life? I have gained clarity. I have gained a healthier psyche and spirituality in life. I have gained more energy to pursue what I feel called to do. I have been able to improve the relationships around me.

Without the step back, you wouldn't know what is wrong. Without the step back, you wouldn't know what it is that is great and central in your life.

So my challenge for you is this, take an intentional step back and intentionally schedule it in your life. How do I do this?

1. Schedule in your time away. Set aside the time on your calendar. Doesn't have to be long, but enough for you to focus and refocus.


2. Inform those closest around you why you are doing this and what it is for.


3. Use that time to contemplate and reflect. Use it to meditate and pray.


4. Write/Draw. Have a log/journal and write or doodle out your thoughts. It isn't so much for you to read but for you to just release your brain and its burdens.


5. Lastly, take what you have learned about yourself and the renewed energy you gained and put them toward the things that matter in life, your family, yourself and your calling.

This is what some call taking a Sabbath or a Sabbatical. You need it.

Core Words: Duty

This is the last of the series on Core Words, knowing and understanding yourself in order to define what is important in your life and reframing your life around those things. The last topic to cover is the last pillar or conduit. For me it's the word "Duty."

There's a foundation from which everything in life stems and a goal towards which you aim in everything you do. Family is a place where you learn and grow in these two aspects. The other parallel is duty. Duty is a big word with different meanings for different people. And if you were to throw a stone at any one person on the street and ask them to define duty, they will probably have a different answer for you.

Duty for me is two fold. It's what you do in life, as in your profession, your calling, or whatever else you busy your time with during your waking hours. And it's the obligations of life. Here we will explore both and how they are interrelated.

First off is your profession and/or calling or just what you do. This is your job and work, either what you get paid to do or what you have decided to do because you have a passion for it. This is probably the next heaviest use of your time in life, aside from family. This is probably the place where you spend most of your energy and waking hours. This is the place where if you were intentional in what you're doing, you can make an impact on the lives of those around you, those you work with or those you serve in your work. Work is often viewed as just a way to pay the bill, and this isn't wrong, but work can be so much more if you take it intentionally as a place where you can make an impact on the world around us.

Think about it. Whether you are the cashier at a big box store or the executive of a multi-million dollar enterprise, you will interact with people. Your attitude at your position and how you interact with those around you will say much about what is grounding your life and what you are aiming for. For the cashier that is more likely than not making minimum wage and probably not fully making ends meet in life, this job can be a get-it-done-to-get-the-cash-and-move-on or it can be a platform in making the lives of those that spend those couple minutes with you at the checkout a nightmare or a paradise in shopping. When you are aiming for excellence, your attitude and your ethics will reflect it. The people that come to you will see a difference that you ain't working just for the cash but rather you are also working to make this essential part of life better. And if you are the executive? Yeah, you have power, prestige and worth, in the world's eyes, but how do your clients and workers view you? Do they view you as the monster of a boss that they need to gravel and kiss up to? Or are you an executive that is known to care and take care of the staff, one that wants to help build up those around you and move them on to a better place in the world? It makes a difference.

Our work place is often like a second home for most of us. Our coworkers can either be competition in a cut-throat world in the advancement of yourself. Or they can be the family away from home that is working mutually together to make the world a more humane and liveable place. A place where you can make a difference and an impact, no matter how small or isolated, is still an impact.

Moving on to duty as obligation, this is the part where duty isn't so much about what you do, but what you have committed yourself to. Yes, your work and your volunteering is a form of obligation but what I want us to delve deeper in is this idea of a deeper obligation in life. The type of obligation that you make within your heart and your mind. The type of obligation that you are willing to stake down and take a stance for.

These obligations take many forms. For some, it is the obligation that they will be there for their family no matter what. For some, it is the deep belief that is driven by their foundations of life to live a certain way or to make an intentional decision on how life is to be done. It's a heart issue. Where are you going to place your life on? What are you fighting for in life? Are you fighting for something that is worthwhile?

In pulling back and understanding the two aspects of duty, you may see why I have chosen this as one of my Core Words. Duty in what you do, how you do it and why you do it. It's the place where you live out what drives you, and the place where you practice and work toward the goal of life.

I'm not sure about you. But as we close this series on Core Words, I hope that you have been challenged to reflect upon life, on what your foundation is, your goals, and how you're going to get there. For me, my foundation is built upon faith in something greater and bigger that creates purpose and I am working toward integrity in all I do, via the means of family, the place where I have learned both and where I can practice both, and of duty, making an impact on the world in which I live.

I hope this has been an eye opener. I hope that you too would reflect and select your Core Words in life.

I would love to hear back on your thoughts, comments and what you have selected as your Core Words.

(This is part 5 of 5 pertaining to the ideal of Core Words.)

Part 1: Defining and Knowing Yourself

Part 2: What is Integrity

Part 3: Baseline of Faith

Part 4: Family

Part 5: Duty

Core Words: Family

Core Words are words that I live by. These are words that form my basic operating principles of life. We have looked at integrity as the destination and goal for everything I do. We have looked at how faith undergirds everything as the foundation and the reason for everything I do and every decision I make. So now we move on to what I call the conduits. The idea of how I move from living with faith towards having integrity in everything I do. These two conduits are family and duty. Here I want to tackle family.

Family are those that are closest to us. The ones that know us the best. The ones that see what the public doesn't see. The ones that know what the public doesn't know. Family are generally the ones we are most comfortable with. The ones we generally fall back on when the going gets tough. They are our safety.

However, for some families, the opposite of what I had just described is true. It's a place of strangers. It's a place where trust cannot be held, cause it has been broken one too many times. It's a place of danger due to the abusive environment it had been in in the past or is currently still in. It's a place of chaos, as no one seems to be in charge or knows what is happening nor when the next meal may be.

I'm not sure where you stand on this. But for me, family has been the closest thing to me. Family has been the ones that built me into who I am today. They're the ones that supported me in my dreams and callings in life, whether it made sense or not. They're the ones that believed in me.

But the thing is, family doesn't just include those that are biologically related to me. I have found that family extends further. It extends to those that have come into the inner circle of my life. The ones that have been there and seen me at the worst and at the best. The ones that have been there to correct me and to support me. The ones that have been like a father or mother away from home or the brother or sister that I don't have. The ones that have been a part of my life and have intertwined theirs with mine.

Where am I getting with all this? I'm laying the groundwork for why family is important to me and why it may be for you too. Why as I move on in life, I want to be there for my family, those that have been closest to me, those that have been there for me, those that have invested in me. These are my immediate family, my relatives, my friends and my church. They're all my family.

In order for you to be able to be there for your family, you need to let them be there for you. You need to be willing to be transparent with them. You need to be willing to allow them to correct and speak to you. And at the same time, you need to make a commitment to speak truth and love to them too, for their betterment and growth.

So that sums up why family is a conduit of my life and one of my Core Words. It is through family that I learn to live out my faith with integrity. They're the ones that sharpen me in life. They're the ones that grind away the garbage and the excess in my life. And I also want to do the same for them.

Family is the unspoken bounds of life. It's what keeps me going. It spurs me to keep going deeper in my pursuit of living with faith toward a life of integrity.

What about you? Have you found family to be one of your conduits in life?

Maybe your experience hasn't exactly been the same as mine but I'm certain there is someone that is family to you without you realising it till now.

(This is part 5 of 5 pertaining to the ideal of Core Words.)

Part 1: Defining and Knowing Yourself

Part 2: What is Integrity

Part 3: Baseline of Faith

Part 4: Family

Part 5: Duty