Living generously

What does being generous mean? According to the dictionary, it is to be liberal in giving and sharing (source: dictionary.com). So the question is, what does it mean to live generously in life?

Often times, for most of us, life is about gathering and making do with what we have. Much of our waking hours is spent working and essentially gathering, making, or working for the resources in life that allow us to survive. There isn't much room to give and share. And even if we give and share, it is with the idea of giving out of our excess.

Is this truly being generous? It is in a sense. But it fails in fulfilling the definition of being liberal. Being liberal implies that a person would not be counting their beans before sharing nor are they only sharing out of excess. Rather, it gives the impression that their giving and sharing is out of sacrifice rather than out of excess.

If this is the case with being generous, the idea of giving sacrificially, how often are we all truly generous? I would say, this is probably a challenge for all of us. When society is all about 'me' and 'what and how does it benefit me', it creates a baseline not of what is good for others or for the greater good, but rather a promotion of selfishness and narcissism.

And this is the issue that I am trying to bring to light, how can we learn to be truly generous in how we live? And how can we pass this key virtue of life down to our kids?

Maybe the first thing we need to do is be a bit more self-aware. Not the kind of self-awareness of knowing yourself more but rather the kind that you learn to be aware of those around you in relation to yourself.

And just learn to give and have a habit of giving to those in need, to those less fortunate, or just as a kind gesture to a stranger. It's the idea of learning to love our neighbors as ourselves. Care for those around you as you would want to be treated and to be cared for and as you would for yourself. Simple rules here.

And in passing it to our kids, remind them that they are not the center of the universe. Model for them generosity and show them when someone has been generous to you. Let them see what it means to love and to share love to those around you with no strings attached. And let them see you being willing to receive love.

Generosity is a lifestyle. It's a part of how a person lives their life. It is in a sense, a part of a person's worldview or system of belief. In essence, it's the idea of sacrificing for those around you, not for a return but for the genuine wish of giving someone else a better day or world.

2016: A year in the wilderness

2016 was a big year for my family. It was a year of change and uncertainty. It was a time when everything seemed to be on the edge.

We started the year off with theWife being unemployed and having been so almost half a year at this point and I was on the verge of handing in my resignation for a pastorate. It was a time of trust and worry. We were going to be completely without an income very soon.

Thankfully, upon the handing in of my resignation, theWife was given an offer for a job. This was the lifeline that we were given and held on to. This was also the time when I had to reorient myself. It was a time of self-reflection and resting from the pastorate and moving myself on to the next phase of ministry and calling. All seemed well, it wasn't a lot but we were taken care of. It was an extension of grace.

As summer rolled around, the company that theWife was working with started to experience financial difficulties due to a downward economy and upper management direction and she was once again faced with the prospect of being unemployed. The notice came right at the end of summer. And once again we were back at the point that we feared most, with completely nothing coming in.

Yet this time was also a joyous time. It was the older one's first day of school. He was now officially a Kindergartener at an Elementary school, rubbing shoulders with the older kids. It was great seeing him learn, play and start experiencing life away from home.

With all that had happened, we ended the last quarter of the year with the both of us unemployed. theWife was interviewing but nothing was holding. And as for myself, the call to plant and start a new congregation was starting slowly but without the financial support of the denomination, although we had the blessings and spiritual support.

It was a hard season. There were many nights in which theWife and I wondered where we were heading and what we were doing and whether what I was doing was the right calling and purpose of life. Through all these, we found comfort and encouragement from friends and families. Our parents did what they could with the little resources they had to help us weather the storm a bit better, since most of our original contingency funds were gone from the first unemployment. We were able to seek advice and direction from those wiser than us. We were supported by a neighborhood of families (read about their support here).

Overall, this was a year with a lot of uncertainty and a lot of questioning. It was a year in which we learned to receive love and support from others. It was a year in which I had a lot of reflection upon those families that are also struggling. It was a year of growth through the discomfort of life (read a bit of it here). It was a time of learning what I was made of, what I was living for, and what I was working toward.

Ultimately, it was a year of faith and hope. Faith that God has a purpose and direction. Hope that God will carry us through and actualize his promises and calling. It was a time in which we learned to pray and depend on Him. Sometimes I wonder where we would have been if we had lost our faith and our hope, or if we never had it in the first place. Where would I have turned during this time of stress and distress?

With the coming of the new year, we had some good news. theWife was given an offer for a job, and I was given an offer for a secular job. This coming year will be different. I will be pursuing my calling and becoming a bivocational minister and church planter. It may no longer be a time of wandering in the wilderness, wondering what is happening. It will be a time of change and building. It will be a time in which we take what we have learned and act upon it.

Some of the lessons learned and actions I wish to do:

• Care more for the families in need. Fight for them, help them and support them during their time of hardship.


• Care for the fathers. Help them learn to cope with their roles as a husband and a father. Help them see the importance they have within the life of their family and that they aren't just their occupation.


• Help people find hope and faith. Help them find an anchor in life that will not be shaken or tossed in the waves of life. Help them find a comfort that will help them through the night.


• Live in trust and faith. Trusting that God has a way and a plan. Faith in continually walking forward even when the light seems dim or contrary to human logic.

So farewell 2016, you have been a harsh year but a necessary year. And on to 2017, may I take what I have experienced and learned and be a blessing to others experiencing likewise.

Christmas hamper, a family in need

A Christmas hamper - a collective collection for a family or individual in need during the Christmas season to help carry them through. As noted in a previous post (see here), my family has been working with little leading up to this holiday season. With the kids getting older but yet still very young, it became a point of figuring out how to help them understand the balancing act of living a simple lifestyle as a choice versus living frugally due to circumstances of life. This will be the second holiday season in which the kids will be experiencing this. And here is where the blessing comes in. We have been blessed to be living in a community that cares and loves each other in a very neighborly fashion, where neighbors care for and are concerned for the wellbeing of other families. In essence, they believe a neighborhood is more than just a place to live but a village of families supporting each other.

This community of families, after finding out that my family will be making this hard choice once again this holiday season, decided to band together and do a Christmas hamper drive for us. They wanted the kids to be able to have gifts under the tree. They wanted us to have enough resources to have a family Christmas dinner. They wanted us to be able to spend time as a couple and have a date night. This is a community of families and neighbors that decided on their own that they wanted to bless us in this season of blessing. They wanted us to be able to experience a normalcy that was lost due to the circumstances of life.

I am very thankful for this community. I am very humbled by this gift and this help. Although we were pushed to making these difficult choices in life, we weren't pushed over the edge. Yet this community didn't want to see us over the edge before they helped, they wanted to be there while it was rough and wanted to walk alongside us to help us get back on our feet. I was humbled. For those of us that have had better days, we may be used to helping others. We too are used to being the ones to help give a hand to those in need. And often times, we don't realize it when we ourselves need help too. I was humbled by this experience and this quote from one of the organizers of the hamper.

"We can never be too proud to accept help. All of us need help at one time or another. Sometimes it is for us to help and sometimes it is for us to receive help. We have to be gracious in accepting help. What comes around will eventually go around. You may need a lift this year, but next year when things are better you will be able to give someone else a lift."

This sums up the holiday and Christmas spirit quite well. We have been blessed and gifted with so much in life and we are responsible to use what we have to bless others. And none of us are so above that we can't use a little help here and there in life.

In entering into the Christmas time, this humbling experience has helped me reflect on life. Reflect on the greater gift that was given to us, the gift of love, blessing and grace that came from God in the form of His Son Jesus. We were in trouble, and although not necessarily looking for or asking for help, He initiated and offered. And we can only accept humbly and graciously this gift given to us and be thankful.

I am thankful for this community in which I live. I am thankful for those who have rallied around my family to support us through this season. And I am ultimately thankful for the hope that God gave us and continually reminds us of in the events, remembrance and celebration of Christmas.

So step back a little. If you have extra, use it to bless someone else. And if you are in need, be willing to receive help. It is there.

 

Entering into the holiday season with little

A few months back, I wrote about a mom detailing her emotional pain of not being able to give to her daughter the things the little one has asked for due to the financial situation the family was experiencing at the moment (Read it HERE.) Little did I know that my family would be in a similar situation come this Christmas season. Over the course of this year, my wife and I have experienced a number of job changes and job loss and with this in mind, we are in a season of financial constraint, with neither of us officially working for a pay cheque.

For sure, there could be worse situations in life. And to be honest, despite the tightness of finance, we are still relatively positive in being able to find something before our finances become critical and run dry. And I am fully aware of families in situations that are worse off than we are. And here is the reflection that I have, we take so much for granted but life is not something we can take for granted.

In being placed in this relatively uncomfortable position (read about my thought of being in a state of discomfort HERE) of constraint during a season characterized by consumerism and entertainment, it is in itself a blessing and a curse. It's a curse in the fact that you feel you are not able to enjoy the holidays as much as people that are less constrained in their lifestyle. But it's a blessing in the fact that you are essentially sidelined from the consumeristic nature of the holiday season and are instead forced to focus on what the holiday is truly about.

Holidays for us now, with the material gifting and shopping taken away, along with some of the paid experiences being priced out of range, has become an intentional time of relationship and quiet reflection. When you are not able to compensate relationships with material, you are challenged to gift the gift of time and presence, a gift in its truest sense: priceless. You are challenged to reflect on what matters in your life, to reflect over the past year's experiences, relationships, and where life is heading in general.

For me, it truly is becoming a time of reflection. This is probably one of the first Christmases that I don't have to work the various Christmas services and events at my local church. The idea of the holidays and the Christmas season takes on a more pure meaning. It has become a time to reflect on the gift that was once given to us 2000 years ago in the form of a babe named Jesus. A gift of love and peace, a gift of salvation and reconciliation, a gift to which no other material gift can compare. And at the same time, in acknowledging this gift from God, I have come to challenge myself in reflecting how I have been a gift to other people.

Some of the questions that I have been asking myself recently:

1. Have I been present for my kids and family? In a fashion where I am willing to sacrifice and gift myself for them?


2. Have I been a gift for my friends, neighbors and acquaintances? How have I been serving them out of love with no expectations of gain or recognition?

We have been gifted so much in life but often times we don't realize how much we have been blessed until we truly are put in a position of little. And my challenge for all of us, including myself, is this:

Even with what little we have, or for some that have plenty, be willing to serve and be a gift to those around you this season in the measure that has been given to us by God.

This is what the Christmas spirit is about, whether we have much or little, we can give the gift of love.