Everyone wants to live life comfortably. There's a whole industry and marketing on how to make life more comfortable. The idea of comfort, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing, but there's a danger with comfort that's often overlooked.
Comfort gives a picture of stability and calmness. But at the same time, this stability and calmness comes with a price. A price in which uncertainty and change doesn't have a place within the framework of comfort. And here is the Achilles' Heel of comfort, it is the inability to change, move and to grow organically in life. Comfort ends up being a sanctuary built and created by ourselves against the tide of the world around us. It is a place in which we are able to find stability and the knowledge of knowing what we know is enough and that we can rest comfortably in what we know.
So then, why is being comfortable negative? It isn't in and of itself, but if ever need to navigate change in life, and personal growth in and of itself is a process of continual change, it will rock the stability and comfort level in your life.
Most people and families operate on a level of certainty. We generally call them routines of life or patterns of life. However, the flipside to this is generally known as chaos and a breakdown of structure. I'm not advocating that living in a state of chaos and lack of structure is a good thing, that in itself is very counter productive due to the nature of not navigating with any intentionality or purpose or direction.
Rather I am looking at that in between place of life. The balance of being fully comfortable and fully basking in chaos. This is a very unique place. It's a place in which you haven't fully abandoned comfort and stability but you have jumped off the cliff into the storm of chaos. And here is the unique place where growth and change happens.
It is in the state of discomfort and intentionality that we are able to push toward growth and change. This isn't just within us personally but can be extended toward businesses, organizations and even our own family. In order to move forward and change organically, we have to be willing to step out of our comfort zone. We need to be willing to embrace a level of discomfort and chaos in life. We need a bit of the unknown. And it is within this unknown and discomfort that we find who we are, where we are going and who we can depend on.
It is a unique position in life. It is a posture of allowing what you have built to be destroyed and rebuilt. It is a gamble that the outcome will be better than what you had before. But without this, you will only continue being where you were and who you were before. There would be no change, no growth.
Some of this growth will demand us to give up something or let go of something. And it'll be alright. You're learning to move beyond to something greater.
So the thought and challenge I want to leave with you today is this:
Are you so comfortable and stable that you have ceased to grow and improve? And how are you maneuvering your life so that you can keep growing, improving and changing?
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Monday, November 14, 2016
Using Microsoft OneNote as a Family
I have been a longtime user of Microsoft OneNote since its early days with the very first version released in 2003. I have always found OneNote to be powerful and quite flexible but it's often highly misunderstood and somewhat overwhelming of an experience for new users. It's one of those productivity programs that Microsoft has had in their arsenal of tools that was created more for themselves and for fans. But this is a program that can revolutionize your life and your family's digital organization.
To be honest, Microsoft OneNote is not the only program of its kind but at the same time it's relatively unique. Its closest competitor would probably be Evernote, but Evernote was never created with as flexible nor as powerful of a framework nor is it as feature rich. Evernote was created and catered to a very specific need of writing and jotting down notes, ideas, lists and having it all accessible and searchable. It does a very admirable job. I have used it myself, until recently. (You can read about it here.)
I have found OneNote to be more than just a place to collect thoughts, notes and lists. Yes, it does all those things and does it pretty good. Especially considering that they allow for graphics, sounds and videos to be attached. Its power lies in its flexibility for the user to mold and create a system as they see fit. It's like a blank notebook or binder or even a scrapbook. It's a blank slate for which tools are provided to use as you will.
This idea of OneNote as a digital blank slate is what makes the learning curve so steep and so overwhelming for some users. But I'm here to guide you through some the ways that I have used it with my family to help us organize and be at the top of our communication and information game.
Recipes. Everyone probably has some way to keep family recipes together, recipes that you find off the internet, or recipes that you begged from your friends and associates. TheWife and I used to have a shoe box in which we kept our collection of recipes. It had no organization nor system of cataloging. It was just in the box. And it was hard to find what we needed. It took time, but we eventually digitized all these recipes and created a collection within OneNote that is indexed and searchable. This made it so much easier in finding that dessert or that roast that we want to make. Or even that bread recipe that we use regularly for our church ministry. Having it digitized in OneNote organized the collection of recipes and most importantly, made it digitally portable to all of our devices. We can simply pull up the recipe we need from anywhere that we have WiFi or data connection. We can email off these recipes to friends and families when they ask for it. It is just that simple. Cooking has never been more simplified. It's just so much easier to have a tablet like the iPad or Microsoft Surface on and opened to the recipe when you need it.
Lists. Man, this is one of the earliest functions that we used as a family and one of the ones that we showed off to families and friends most often. List making is nothing new or revolutionary. But OneNote's ability to sync between devices in real time makes this so much cooler. I can be at the grocery store and checking off the list (yes, it has actual checkable check boxes), and theWife can be at home adding to the list. It would just pop up for me and she will know what items I have already gotten. And to top it off, she can make notes on the page and I would be able to get it almost instantaneously. Additionally, sometimes certain things you are buying just can't be described in words. Things like these are perfect to have a picture attached as an item on the list. There is no error of grabbing the wrong thing, cause someone needed a particular brand and such. Lists are just this simple with OneNote and powerfully expanded. We use lists for shopping, trip packing, to do's, etc.
Projects and Thoughts. OneNote is a scrapbook at its heart. We have used OneNote as a place for collecting our research on parenting skills and techniques, especially in relation to our son's needs (read about it here). We have used it for building our home renovation, improvement and maintenance planning. We have used it for storing ideas, prices, needs and priorities. We have used it collecting and storing random information. It has been a place for general planning of life, events, trips, ideas, etc. Essentially, OneNote is a place where you can dump your family life.
OneNote has been indispensable for theWife and I in all these years of relationship. From our initial wedding planning, to when we moved several times, to learning to be parents, to our personal and family projects, and even to the most basic shopping list, it has been a place where we gather information that is important to us. It's a system that's always evolving. It's a notebook that's constantly being reorganized and restructured as the need of our family changes. It's also been a place to can look back and see how far we have come and some of the memories that were made.
I'm not sure what system or tools your family uses to organize life and to get all the information together. But I would recommend that you take a deep look at Microsoft OneNote as a starting point for organizing the crazy life any family may have. If we want the time to do what matters most, if we want to experience life to its fullest, we all need a system to help us get there. For my family, OneNote is one of those tools. And I hope it may be yours too.
To be honest, Microsoft OneNote is not the only program of its kind but at the same time it's relatively unique. Its closest competitor would probably be Evernote, but Evernote was never created with as flexible nor as powerful of a framework nor is it as feature rich. Evernote was created and catered to a very specific need of writing and jotting down notes, ideas, lists and having it all accessible and searchable. It does a very admirable job. I have used it myself, until recently. (You can read about it here.)
I have found OneNote to be more than just a place to collect thoughts, notes and lists. Yes, it does all those things and does it pretty good. Especially considering that they allow for graphics, sounds and videos to be attached. Its power lies in its flexibility for the user to mold and create a system as they see fit. It's like a blank notebook or binder or even a scrapbook. It's a blank slate for which tools are provided to use as you will.
This idea of OneNote as a digital blank slate is what makes the learning curve so steep and so overwhelming for some users. But I'm here to guide you through some the ways that I have used it with my family to help us organize and be at the top of our communication and information game.
Recipes. Everyone probably has some way to keep family recipes together, recipes that you find off the internet, or recipes that you begged from your friends and associates. TheWife and I used to have a shoe box in which we kept our collection of recipes. It had no organization nor system of cataloging. It was just in the box. And it was hard to find what we needed. It took time, but we eventually digitized all these recipes and created a collection within OneNote that is indexed and searchable. This made it so much easier in finding that dessert or that roast that we want to make. Or even that bread recipe that we use regularly for our church ministry. Having it digitized in OneNote organized the collection of recipes and most importantly, made it digitally portable to all of our devices. We can simply pull up the recipe we need from anywhere that we have WiFi or data connection. We can email off these recipes to friends and families when they ask for it. It is just that simple. Cooking has never been more simplified. It's just so much easier to have a tablet like the iPad or Microsoft Surface on and opened to the recipe when you need it.
Lists. Man, this is one of the earliest functions that we used as a family and one of the ones that we showed off to families and friends most often. List making is nothing new or revolutionary. But OneNote's ability to sync between devices in real time makes this so much cooler. I can be at the grocery store and checking off the list (yes, it has actual checkable check boxes), and theWife can be at home adding to the list. It would just pop up for me and she will know what items I have already gotten. And to top it off, she can make notes on the page and I would be able to get it almost instantaneously. Additionally, sometimes certain things you are buying just can't be described in words. Things like these are perfect to have a picture attached as an item on the list. There is no error of grabbing the wrong thing, cause someone needed a particular brand and such. Lists are just this simple with OneNote and powerfully expanded. We use lists for shopping, trip packing, to do's, etc.
Projects and Thoughts. OneNote is a scrapbook at its heart. We have used OneNote as a place for collecting our research on parenting skills and techniques, especially in relation to our son's needs (read about it here). We have used it for building our home renovation, improvement and maintenance planning. We have used it for storing ideas, prices, needs and priorities. We have used it collecting and storing random information. It has been a place for general planning of life, events, trips, ideas, etc. Essentially, OneNote is a place where you can dump your family life.
OneNote has been indispensable for theWife and I in all these years of relationship. From our initial wedding planning, to when we moved several times, to learning to be parents, to our personal and family projects, and even to the most basic shopping list, it has been a place where we gather information that is important to us. It's a system that's always evolving. It's a notebook that's constantly being reorganized and restructured as the need of our family changes. It's also been a place to can look back and see how far we have come and some of the memories that were made.
I'm not sure what system or tools your family uses to organize life and to get all the information together. But I would recommend that you take a deep look at Microsoft OneNote as a starting point for organizing the crazy life any family may have. If we want the time to do what matters most, if we want to experience life to its fullest, we all need a system to help us get there. For my family, OneNote is one of those tools. And I hope it may be yours too.
Thursday, November 03, 2016
Shared Calendar: Being on the same page
I'm not sure about you but for me, life is hectic. Living life as a single was bad enough. When you live life as a couple it gets even more complex. Then throw in the kids and it gets downright hectic. Life just never stops. There's always that next appointment or event that you are all trying to get to. And to make it more complex, sometimes events and appointments are for just one person or one kid, and sometimes everyone's individual schedules start conflicting with each other.
This is where having a shared calendar system comes in. I know many families already have some type of system. And many people have some form of system at work to keep track of things. But here is where the breakdown comes in to play, they are all different systems. And eventually something will fall through the cracks and an event or appointment gets double booked or forgotten. The shared calendar or "family calendar" is where it all comes together.
The shared calendar is something that I have used with my wife since we got married. At first it was not so much for avoiding scheduling conflicts or double bookings. I was a grad student at the time and she wanted to know when I get out of class and when my assignments are due. It was a system to keep me in check and to keep me accountable for what I was doing. However, as we started to add to the calendar, we started to add in particular work events that my wife had or nights out with the girls that she had. It was essentially a heads up for me to know what is up in her life so I can react accordingly.
Eventually, this calendar of ours evolved to not only include all our events and work stuff but also chores that we have at home. Chores such as vacuuming and laundry that are done on a more scheduled basis. Then when the kids came along, it included the kids' events and play dates and such.
Having everything on the same page helps with planning and coordinating. It helps us know what we have agreed to with other people without necessarily needing to consult with each other first. In a sense, it allows the freedom of knowing that we wouldn't be overfilling ourselves or creating conflict. The calendar system allows for us to note down what is happening and when. It becomes a good place to consult when we plan for family time and events. It allows for us to know who is able to pick up the kids when and if one of us will not be home for dinner or will be coming home late for any reason.
We execute this shared calendar system through Google Calendar. Using iCal or Microsoft's Outlook Calendar works too. The point is to have a place that all of you are able to access and edit with the devices that you own and use.
The beauty of Google Calendar is the ability to use it on essentially any mobile device and tablet, while being accessible on the website and also on most computers' default calendar program. As an added bonus, although I do not personally use this function, it also has the ability to allow for other family members to subscribe to it or to share it without editing capability.
Most of us have various digital devices ranging from smartphones to tablets to computers, and all these devices are connected. This connectedness allows for the ability to share and connect in a way that we weren't able to before. It's allowed my family to leverage technology to help simplify our life. It's allowed us to be on the same page on what is happening and when. It's allowed us to mitigate potential conflicts that may arise from miscommunication and poor planning. It's created a system of trust and accountability as both of us know what is happening in the other's life. And if something happened outside of the scheduled events, it promotes talking to grow closer together. The fact that we know what is happening in each other's life, we now can move on from asking what is happening to asking what happened during those said events in life.
I'm not sure about you, but having a shared calendar system is a life saver and a time saver for us. And I hope that this has been an inspiration for you to start something similar if you haven't already. And for those that have a system that works for them, I would love to hear about it.
This is where having a shared calendar system comes in. I know many families already have some type of system. And many people have some form of system at work to keep track of things. But here is where the breakdown comes in to play, they are all different systems. And eventually something will fall through the cracks and an event or appointment gets double booked or forgotten. The shared calendar or "family calendar" is where it all comes together.
The shared calendar is something that I have used with my wife since we got married. At first it was not so much for avoiding scheduling conflicts or double bookings. I was a grad student at the time and she wanted to know when I get out of class and when my assignments are due. It was a system to keep me in check and to keep me accountable for what I was doing. However, as we started to add to the calendar, we started to add in particular work events that my wife had or nights out with the girls that she had. It was essentially a heads up for me to know what is up in her life so I can react accordingly.
Eventually, this calendar of ours evolved to not only include all our events and work stuff but also chores that we have at home. Chores such as vacuuming and laundry that are done on a more scheduled basis. Then when the kids came along, it included the kids' events and play dates and such.
Having everything on the same page helps with planning and coordinating. It helps us know what we have agreed to with other people without necessarily needing to consult with each other first. In a sense, it allows the freedom of knowing that we wouldn't be overfilling ourselves or creating conflict. The calendar system allows for us to note down what is happening and when. It becomes a good place to consult when we plan for family time and events. It allows for us to know who is able to pick up the kids when and if one of us will not be home for dinner or will be coming home late for any reason.
We execute this shared calendar system through Google Calendar. Using iCal or Microsoft's Outlook Calendar works too. The point is to have a place that all of you are able to access and edit with the devices that you own and use.
The beauty of Google Calendar is the ability to use it on essentially any mobile device and tablet, while being accessible on the website and also on most computers' default calendar program. As an added bonus, although I do not personally use this function, it also has the ability to allow for other family members to subscribe to it or to share it without editing capability.
Most of us have various digital devices ranging from smartphones to tablets to computers, and all these devices are connected. This connectedness allows for the ability to share and connect in a way that we weren't able to before. It's allowed my family to leverage technology to help simplify our life. It's allowed us to be on the same page on what is happening and when. It's allowed us to mitigate potential conflicts that may arise from miscommunication and poor planning. It's created a system of trust and accountability as both of us know what is happening in the other's life. And if something happened outside of the scheduled events, it promotes talking to grow closer together. The fact that we know what is happening in each other's life, we now can move on from asking what is happening to asking what happened during those said events in life.
I'm not sure about you, but having a shared calendar system is a life saver and a time saver for us. And I hope that this has been an inspiration for you to start something similar if you haven't already. And for those that have a system that works for them, I would love to hear about it.
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Dealing with burnout
Burnout is one of those things that people talk about and people seemingly understand but when you dig deeper, no one can seem to explain what it is. If you've been following some of the new studies, there's a close relation between burnout and depression. But either case, burnout is a state in which you feel a lack of enthusiasm, lack of motivation and a drop in productivity. Whether or not this is a true condition is still being debated by the professionals.
Most people focus on the occupational aspect of burnout and it's true that this is where you will find it most often. But I want us to focus on life as a whole, meaning some of us may experience burnout or burnout-like symptoms in other aspects of our life such as being a parent, being a student or just life in general. I think thinking of it holistically is very important because life isn't just about work. Rather, work is a part of life as a whole.
Often times, the path to burnout is not so much about the work that's being done or the situations in life leading up to it but that there isn't enough rest and balance in life. Without the rest that your body, mind and soul desperately needs, you will eventually run yourself to the ground via exhaustion. Some people call this burnout, some call it running yourself into a rut and some just see it as life and that you just need to get over it. This lack of rest is a tell-tale symptom of imbalance in life. Imbalance often starts with the mis-allocation of our life's resources, our energy, or our time toward something, which then becomes overdrive and suffocates our own ability to reassess, rest and balance life.
The cost of imbalance is devastating. The fact that you are continually mis-focusing your energy, time, relationships and resources will impact your life whether you admit it or not. Or more like we are so used to it that we don't know what being healthy and balanced is anymore. It will put strains on your relationships, your family, your job and your work. It will affect your physical and mental health. It will affect your inner soul, your spirit and your spirituality.
This continuation of mis-focus or imbalance will eventually break you. Why do you think mental illness, depression and anxiety is at an all time high? It's because with the nonstop world around us, we haven't had a chance to just step back and take a break anymore, refocus and maintain balance. With the increased demand of our attention and the demand of an instantaneous response, we have forgotten how to wait, be still and just listen to the world around us.
Stepping away from it all is imperative for your health and mine. I have seen the edge of the cliff, I have seen the depth of the cliff, and I have seen it in others. Sometimes, we are so used to performing that we lose sight of what we are working toward. Other times, we have invested so much into something that we can't see anything else. And I'm not just talking about work as in occupation but also about the other aspects of life - being a parent, being a spouse, being a friend, etc. We all work toward something but when it becomes imbalanced, you walk a fine line.
You can't do any of that without taking a step back. You need it. Your family needs it from you. Your work needs it for you to perform optimally. And those around you need it from you to help maintain a healthy relationship.
Stepping back is hard. It's an intentional time. A time to take a mental break. A time to take a physical break. A time for your soul, mind and body to catch up again. What this break looks like will be different for everybody. Some just need a hobby. Some just need sleep. Some just need quiet. It is different and very personal.
But the fact of the matter is, whether you are on the road to burnout or not or whether you believe in burnout or not, you need balance in life. And balance in life is only achievable if we are intentional in what we are doing.
What does living intentionally look like?
An article of interest pertaining to using and finding intentional rest and space in life is HERE.
Most people focus on the occupational aspect of burnout and it's true that this is where you will find it most often. But I want us to focus on life as a whole, meaning some of us may experience burnout or burnout-like symptoms in other aspects of our life such as being a parent, being a student or just life in general. I think thinking of it holistically is very important because life isn't just about work. Rather, work is a part of life as a whole.
Often times, the path to burnout is not so much about the work that's being done or the situations in life leading up to it but that there isn't enough rest and balance in life. Without the rest that your body, mind and soul desperately needs, you will eventually run yourself to the ground via exhaustion. Some people call this burnout, some call it running yourself into a rut and some just see it as life and that you just need to get over it. This lack of rest is a tell-tale symptom of imbalance in life. Imbalance often starts with the mis-allocation of our life's resources, our energy, or our time toward something, which then becomes overdrive and suffocates our own ability to reassess, rest and balance life.
The cost of imbalance is devastating. The fact that you are continually mis-focusing your energy, time, relationships and resources will impact your life whether you admit it or not. Or more like we are so used to it that we don't know what being healthy and balanced is anymore. It will put strains on your relationships, your family, your job and your work. It will affect your physical and mental health. It will affect your inner soul, your spirit and your spirituality.
This continuation of mis-focus or imbalance will eventually break you. Why do you think mental illness, depression and anxiety is at an all time high? It's because with the nonstop world around us, we haven't had a chance to just step back and take a break anymore, refocus and maintain balance. With the increased demand of our attention and the demand of an instantaneous response, we have forgotten how to wait, be still and just listen to the world around us.
Stepping away from it all is imperative for your health and mine. I have seen the edge of the cliff, I have seen the depth of the cliff, and I have seen it in others. Sometimes, we are so used to performing that we lose sight of what we are working toward. Other times, we have invested so much into something that we can't see anything else. And I'm not just talking about work as in occupation but also about the other aspects of life - being a parent, being a spouse, being a friend, etc. We all work toward something but when it becomes imbalanced, you walk a fine line.
You can't do any of that without taking a step back. You need it. Your family needs it from you. Your work needs it for you to perform optimally. And those around you need it from you to help maintain a healthy relationship.
Stepping back is hard. It's an intentional time. A time to take a mental break. A time to take a physical break. A time for your soul, mind and body to catch up again. What this break looks like will be different for everybody. Some just need a hobby. Some just need sleep. Some just need quiet. It is different and very personal.
But the fact of the matter is, whether you are on the road to burnout or not or whether you believe in burnout or not, you need balance in life. And balance in life is only achievable if we are intentional in what we are doing.
What does living intentionally look like?
- Learn to say no and yes based on your priorities and abilities.
- Learn what fuels you and what drains you. Make sure you are balanced.
- Learn to listen to your soul and your body. Sometimes, it knows us better in terms of what we need to rebalance.
- And most importantly for me, learn from and lean on your relationship with God and allow that to overflow to the rest of your life. With God as the source and center of your life, you can trust that you will never be depleted nor imbalanced.
An article of interest pertaining to using and finding intentional rest and space in life is HERE.
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